Previous Post Was Fake News

Not really but it is definitely one of those things where, for me at least, I kind of wish I didn’t put it out there. Whenever I tell people I’m trying to do X or Y I usually start doing that thing less. I’ve read about the potential causes of that before and it is something along the lines of like, telling people you’re working on accomplishing something is somewhat similar in your brain to accomplishing those things. So your brain releases a bit of serotonin or whatever and thinks, hey, I got the serotonin, that means I did it already.

Now, I haven’t stopped trying to further my game and knowledge of GML since I posted that, but I’ve been trying to not really do that these past couple years (tell people my shit). But here is a thing I have no problem telling: Last cigarette was 7/15/16 at 9:00AM-ish. That I am pretty proud of and feel pretty secure about telling people. SO THATS GOOD RIGHT?

Alright, how about gaemz. Blackwake seems pretty fuckin cool. Get to be a bloody wanker or a yohoho bottle o rum sumbitch. I’ve heard it compared to Guns of Icarus which I haven’t played but as I understand it is a steampunk airship game that is similar to this. In Blackwake you have ships, each having a crew of real players. The crew vote for their captains and can mutiny them to replace them with someone else. The game modes I have tried so far are Fleet and 2v2 Galleon. Fleet has 2 sloops and a galleon per team (sloops are small, galleons big) and 2v2 Galleon has, well, 2 Galleons on each side, who woulda thunk that shit.

Holy fucking shit do I hate little snot nose fuckin kids though. Every fuckin game with voice chat, let alone games that kind of rely on using voice chat effectively to succeed as a team, is filled to the goddamn brim with so many dumb fuckin kids trying to be memelords or some edgy fuckin B A S E D fucking loser. Ugh, they raise my blood pressure and it makes me angry. Anyways, fuck those fuckin kids and thank god for old calm people (like me?).

I guess I can kinda go into what I want my game to be a little bit. One of the things I really want it to be is a singleplayer D&D sort of experience. That may sound contradictory and I totally get that, but it is what I want to do nonetheless. I want to trick the player into thinking they know exactly what they’re getting into and then being surprised when it changes to something completely different. Why? I DONT FUCKIN KNOW. It seems cool, that’s why, I guess. I’m sure I’ll look back at some things and think “Hrrm, that seems wrong” and change it, but for now, I’m sticking to my big dumb crazy plan of aiming way too fucking high and taking it one step at a time.

If you downloaded it and gave it a whirl you’ve seen how fuckin doody it looks. The art is probably harder than the coding to be honest. Most would recommend to use placeholder art, which technically is what I am doing, but I also get carried away and actually try to make shit look right all the time. Anyways, I don’t remember how far you can even get in the thing in the last post. You’re supposed to play the dumb asteroid game and then when the time is up, it tallies your gold earned, you press spacebar to continue, and then the ship flies into the spacestation (yeah that is supposed to be a spacestation lol).

Once in the spacestation you start at the foot of your ship (the black thing if you can get that far in the thing I linked) as a really shitty looking placeholder character model with no animations for walking left right or up. You get an inventory that has the gold you just earned shootin space rocks and pleb ships and you’ll see you have some gear already equipped. I don’t think you can get this far in the exe in the last post and I guess that is probably good.

I made a chest that I can duplicate and put all over that picks between 4 loot options which are spacestation related. I made it so you can loot items from the chests and they go in your inventory. This shit is way harder than I’d ever imagined and I’m pretty sure once I get another 20 miles ahead I will look back and think, wtf was I doing, I should’ve done this this and this instead. But that is okay, I’m learning, you have to do things wrong to learn how to do them right sometimes.

My next obstacle is testing room persistence. Hopefully it works fine ez pz. The goal is to have each floor tile have a chance to spawn a fight (FF and Pokemon anyone?) which would change the room to a battle/fight room with turn based combat. If room persistence works then after the fight is over and it changes back to the previous room everything should be the way it was when you last left it. I just realized that I’m going to have to store some sort of player.x and player.y variables before the fight so that when it goes back to that room the player doesn’t spawn back at the foot of his ship. Which means making some sort of global battle variable that when it is 1 changes the players x and y coords to the snapshot of them before the battle started.

I used to really like accounting because “its like a puzzle”. That shit is the dumbest puzzle ever lol, this is the real puzzle. This shit makes me lay in bed unable to sleep because I can’t stop thinking about the shit I can think of making in a game. It feels great, but there never feels like there is enough time in the day to do as much as I want, whether that is playing games or learning to make them.

Anyways, suck a dick and shit, peace out honkies.

GameMaker Studio and me

I’ve been fiddling around with GameMaker Studio a bit kind of recently. You can get it for free on Steam (there is a paid version as well, not sure what the differences are). I started out just fiddling with stuff, adding all the free stuff from the marketplace to my library (for whatever reason), but then I found this website. I started with the written tutorials and kind of made a little Asteroid like game.

I’ve since refined it a bunch, added health to the character that sticks below the model, a room timer, a “currency/score”, some pleb ships that sometimes spawn and try and circle you occasionally firing at you, and my favorite thing: a score screen at the end of the first level. I used this place to create a couple sounds which is pretty cool.

Anyways, it only took about 50 hours of fiddling and learning and I was able to create “a level” for a shitty asteroids game. It feels good, I enjoy figuring out how to get things to work. It can get taxing after working a whole day and then in my free time doing this, while this is way more enjoyable than my job and it is fun, it is still taxing on the soul.

Without further ado, here is a link to the install (.exe) of what I have currently in my dumb game if the one person who reads this wants to check it out. As of now the controls are: Arrow Keys, Spacebar to fire, Esc closes the game (if the player is on screen so wont work on score screen).

Holy shit I hate what the internet is turning into

What is the best way to be the best class in the game? Is there a step by step guide that details how I should go about beginning my world domination? What are some things you wish you had known when you first started playing the game? Why aren’t there any guides about how to fuckin not make decisions on my own? I JUST WANT TO BE BETTER THAN ANYONE EASILY, IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?

I really don’t want to stop playing games but holy goddamn shit do I hate all of the fuckin kids. Not only do they want it all, easily, at record pace, but they’re also the fucking majority! Change this game to suit my desires! “How about you just play the fucking game the way it was meant to be played?” -10000 downvotes, because I’m a giant piece of shit.

Maybe I should just stick to old bad graphics games that these little shits don’t care about. Or just play Arma 3 persistence mods like Exile or Breaking Point because they’re rougher, losing all your shit after being sniped from beyond your view distance.

Ugh. I just needed to get that out.

All over the road… and sea

Tax season is taking its toll on me as well as a visiting mother and grandmother.  But mom has returned home and while tax season has only picked up I felt obligated to not leave the google bots who read my blog hanging for more delicious content.  So let’s get to it!

Xcom 2 was the shit.  It is also infuriating at times but that’s the game man, sometimes it sucks but for the most part as long as you don’t play so long you get retarded, you will conquer them damn alien sumbitches.  My first victory in the previous game was led by Col. Watanabe so this time I made a rookie named Watanabe Jr., and he survived all the way til the end.  It was a weird little fun thing I normally wouldn’t do because, let’s be honest, spending a lot of time during character customization is kind of gay.  If you’ve played the first one and enjoyed it you will definitely enjoy Xcom 2, especially since they fixed Overwatch so your guys don’t shoot at already dead dudes.

I recently bought Blood and Gold: Caribbean which is a pirate game where you gather a crew, train em up, buy a boat, fight other boats, take other boats, sell boats, roam the land fighting bandits, leveling up, looting, selling, creating business and even creating your own empire that rivals the English, French, Netherlands, Spain, or the pirate Brotherhood.  It is made in the same engine as Mount and Blade: Warband, so if you played that and enjoyed it, holy goddamn shit will you love this.  Because there is a whole nother layer with the ships which can actually make it harder.

You start out with a really high tier ship so you do not want to fuck up and lose it, you really do not want to do that, I can’t stress this enough (trust me I have deleted and restarted like 4 times now lol).  Ok so let’s say that oh shit you weren’t paying attention to your boats hull % and after taking down multiple Smuggler ships your boat sinks and you get captured.  First you are sold into slavery and will wind up at either a mine or a plantation.  You will get choices occasionally asking if you want to try and escape on your own, convince others to escape with you, talk to the administrator, or keep waiting (for some reason).  If you fail while escaping it is possible you suffer some sort of stat loss, for instance I died once while escaping and it said the guards hit me so hard my face will be permanently altered, lowering my charisma by 1.  Sons of bitches I just put a point into Charisma!

Ok so lets say you convince all the prisoners to escape with you, once some of them are willing to help another option to signal the prisoners becomes available.  Selecting this choice causes you and all the prisoners to rise up against the guards and storm out of the mine/plantation.  Some of these prisoners will elect to follow you if you are successful which is pretty good, free followers are always welcomed, especially after you’ve lost your ship and your previous crew.  The hard thing is getting a boat again.  If you didn’t make enough money prior to your failure AND put that money in the bank at a town hall, you’re shit out of luck.  You can get a quest off a message board in town to kill like 5 bands of robbers on land for like 2000 money, but the shittiest ship you can buy is like 7000.  It is definitely possible but holy shit it is not even worth it.

The highest rank I had gotten allowed me to buy a Small Corvette for 45000 which is like 3 or 4 ships below the one you start with, which itself is like 2 or 3 below the biggest/best one you can buy for military purposes.  It is not a very forgiving game but you can buy yourself some safety by having multiple ships in your fleet (which is easy as you can capture them from Smugglers and anyone really).  What I do is I switch my ammo to grapeshot which does more damage to the crew than the hull and sails.  So you kill the crew, navigate near them and hold F to board.  Once you board and defeat them, finish the battle and boom, new ship that is yours.  Having multiple ships can help you in that sometimes you pick fights that are dangerous.

Say you see a band of Smugglers in 2 Small Sloops or some other pitiful boats, on paper it seems like an easy win, but you didn’t notice that it was like 70 Smugglers on those 2 tiny ships, that is the dangerous part.  So you’re doing the boat fighting and cool, everything is gonna be okay right?  They’re 2 tiny shit ships, no problem.  So you accidentally let one of them get too close to you and they decide to board you, well shit, now it is like your 10 guys against their 20, you’re almost never winning that, the best one I’ve ever won was like 10v15 and I think it was because I had a gun by then and was just sniping them from my ship, maybe my soldiers were more trained, no idea.  But if you lose that, they get your ship, your big fuckin flagship of awesomeness now belongs to a bunch of filthy Smugglers.  If you do not have a second ship in your fleet, you lose, you’re a slave, life is going to suck for a long time.  But if you do have a second (or third or fourth) ship in your fleet you will return to the ship battle and can switch to grapeshot and reclaim your big awesome boat.

The game has definitely pushed my tolerance as far as it can go.  One moment led me to alt+f4 ragequit which is something I haven’t done in a game in quite some time.  But I can’t help but want so badly to succeed at this game.  I have to be more aware of everything when I play so that I don’t fuck up which causes me to limit myself so I don’t get complacent.  Yesterday I started over for possibly the last time (hopefully I will succeed, if not I may just fuckin uninstall and give up lol) and had such a good start I couldn’t believe it.  I managed to upgrade all of my cannons to the best available to me as well as 2 ship upgrades to allow my crew to slowly repair sails and hull.  On top of that I was successful enough in my endeavors to manage to bank 25k, all in 55 minutes of play time.  It seemed so easy, but once I had that thought I knew it was a good point to call it for the night.  Just don’t want to fuck up and lose again.  Maybe I wouldn’t restart this time and just pretend to be like Captain Jack Sparrow (hurrdurr) working my way up shitty ships just trying to get back to the Pearl.  I do not want that life, I want to be a super awesome fuckin boat drivin, cannon shootin, sword slashing, musket firing, fleet captaining son of a bitch.

Darkest Dungeon and a little miscellaneous crap

Miscellaneous crap first cus I’m a CLG fan. I guess the only thing really to talk about here is that I tried Helldivers with my friend. It is a twin stick shooter and from what I saw in the first few levels is completely crap. First mission: Set your landing point right next to the objective, land, capture objective, kill maybe 15 guys with 15 shots, proceed to extraction point, setup a turret and go prone until shuttle arrives. Second misson? Same fuckin thing. Oh hey, leveled up, cool I think. Mission 3, ooo, now there are 2 capture points and 30 bad guys to kill. After we finished that one we were done, both refunded it. Pretty bland copy pasta levels, wouldn’t recommend.

Alright, Darkest Dungeon, a game that can be so fun one moment and then bring you to your knees the next. I’m kinda in love with this game which would explain the 51 hours I have in it since Early Access. The furthest I’ve gotten so far (albeit in a game without corpses) is completing a Short Champion level (level 5) mission. I later tried a Medium Champion mission and lost two of my guys which made me sad. I have since begun a play through with corpses, aka, the way it was meant to be played and it helped open my eyes to the full game. All of a sudden these stupid characters that were pointless to use had purpose, which really only served to make the game more difficult for the way my dumb brain works.

I like structure and what I mean by that is like a method, a uniform way to proceed with the task at hand. The task at hand being making it to the Darkest Dungeon (level 6) and eventually winning. In my head the best way to do this is to find one composition that I like and duplicating it throughout my roster. So if I take my best guys out and a couple get hurt and need to heal, I can just load up the next team of 4, identical classes, and get right back out there. Now, with the right trinkets this is almost completely possible, the one hitch being The Ruins and its goddamn skeletons. Some places have high blight resists which means no Plague Doctor because his poison wont land, but, if you get the right trinkets (which I am lucky to have) you can increase their blight skill success chance to like 170%, meaning if they have 70% resists, you’re still going to poison them. Those trinkets have helped me immensely in crafting my squads as I can now take a Plague Doctor on every mission which is invaluable being able to dot the 2 back line enemies for 5 dmg a turn plus 1-2 for the initial landing of the dot. It works especially well in places that are more susceptible to bleeds because then I’m blighting and bleeding all them mfkers turn 1 and half of them are dead before they even get to do anything.

But, since the Ruins has fucking skeletons I have to find another way, which is pretty much just, replace Jester and maybe Houndmaster with like Bounty Hunter and Highwayman. I say maybe Houndmaster because even though I use him for bleeds, his ranged “sick ’em” dog attack can do okay damage to any enemy, and if the target is marked it can do even more. Sure the bleeds wont land but usually even in the Ruins you will run into some that can be bled, including bosses.

I don’t really have a set composition right now. It used to be Hellion, Bounty Hunter, Occulist, Plague Doctor but I really like incorporating a Jester now for the stress heals. It seems like my best option now really is to just check out the missions first, find the one I’d like to do the most, figure out what the mob resists are like there, and build a team accordingly.

Anyways, this game is pretty awesome and you should totally buy it bitch!