No Time

It is tax season so I have to pretend like I’m busier than I am.  So I don’t really have time to post stuff here.

Some quick notes about games I guess.


Slay the Spire is cool.  I want more characters though.


I was almost tempted to join Syncaine in Life is Feudal MMO but after playing on the newb island for a little I decided against it.  I had maybe 12 hours in the singleplayer version when it was early access (is it still?  I have no idea).  If I were to play a game like that it would probably be Wurm as I kinda got “far” in that already.  Plus in my “old age” I’ve found I kinda hate PvP getting in the way of my mining for 12 hours so I can get enough materials to make 1 piece of shit nobody wants.


Subnautica still scares the shit out of me.  I took my cyclops to a biome I’d never been to before the other day and that was cool until some fuckin spider monster showed up trying to EMP me.  I still really want to beat this game sometime but holy shit my fear of water fucks me so hard in this game.


D&D has been good but I want more.  Unfortunately my group can’t really handle 2 days a week and I think everyone read something and have just accepted it as fact, that something being that if you try to have a dynamic play time, just whenever everyone has time, you eventually just never do it.  I think that is some bullshit, if you want it you’ll try to find a way to make it work.  Might need another group for 2nd day.  Might need to just make myself work on learning Gamemaker more so I can at least feel like I’m getting closer to scratching whatever itch it is that D&D gives me.


I’ve been continuing a Mount and Blade Warband playthrough I’d started some time ago.  I’ve now created my own faction and have 2 towns along with maybe 6 castles and however many villages come with that.  For the first time since I’ve started playing this game (think I have 250 hours) I have vassals that work under me.  The ultimate goal is obviously to conquer the whole world and I’m not doin too bad.  I wiped out the Nords by coming into existence (they only had 2 castles left when I took one of them and became my own faction).  Right now I’ve got the same amount of towns (major cities) as the Rhodoks which I guess means I’m tied for last.  The Vaegirs have 3 towns and so do the Khergits.  Right now I’m at war with my old faction the Swadians, they had 7 towns but I took one for myself so they’re tied at 6 with the Sarranids.  I’m kind of hoping the Swadians want to make peace with me so I can take a breather/build up my garrisons.  I mainly only warred them for their town in the middle of all my smaller property, which I’ve got now to solidify the old Nord land as my own.  For some reason I have trouble actually pushing myself down these roads in this game.  Actually warring a faction while knowing that what comes next could be more challenging than I thought.  Kind of like Subnautica except easier to get through.


I guess that is about it for now.  My personal life is weird now.  I was walking 3 days a week when I was working from home.  Now I’m coming into the office for tax season, mainly to help my dad not feel as stressed out even though I don’t really get why he is stressed out (besides that he always is this time of year no matter what).  So I don’t really walk anymore.  I stopped making my lunch and breakfast everyday as well because just getting out of bed and getting here on time is enough shit to eat for one morning.  It’s kind of depressing to be honest but I know it is temporary and tax season will pass and I’ll be able to try and take care of myself again.  Thank god for games and weed.


Who wants to touch me?

I feel like PUBG’s rating/ranking system is a perfect representation of your actual skill level.  Here’s my proof:

This is fine

Apparently I’m just naturally one of the best players in NA.


aaaand a bonus screenshot of my previous rank for giggles:

hurr durr get it


Time for a mind dump.


I lost my first character in D&D.  We were playing the Strahd campaign and we got to the Shambler or whatever, the plant amalgamation that can potentially kill the whole party.  Then, I dun goofed.  I had gotten eaten which is kind of expected when you’re melee I guess.  But while I was inside the beast with like 7 health left I spent all 15 points of my lay on hands to heal myself, putting me at 22.  Then the Wizard Tortle shot some fire bullshit at it which happened to deal 14 damage to me too because I’m in the plant monster.  So I really only healed for 1.  As the beast was weakened I managed to free myself from it, landing on the floor prone.  My action had been spent to break free and I asked how standing up would affect my movement, I was told it would take half of it.  So I stand up, with my 8 HP, and I think “Man, this big fuckin mean piece of shit is going to kill me if I don’t GTFO”.  So I try and run away completely forgetting what would happen next.  The Shambler got an attack of opportunity and bam, I was down.  But I wasn’t dead yet!  Unfortunately when it was the Shambler’s turn again (in the room with ghost cultists shouting to be appeased with a sacrifice caused by the Shambler — establishing it has a history of solely existing to cause death) it decided to snuff my life from my limp body.

It was deserved.  I forgot about attacks of opportunity due to fear and I took 14 damage from a friendly character.  After the fight the DM says I am in a room with 2 doors, one has light coming from it and one does not.  A voice I don’t know says I can take the door without light and return to my companions, at a price.  The other door would lead to my God’s domain.  My character had been pretty freaked out since he got transported into this crazy world so I figured he would just say fuck it, I tried, GG and peace the fuck out.  So that is what I chose.  When he walked through the door of light the light disappeared and the voice says there is no relief and no escape then laughs maniacally.  Pretty cool.  I’ve rolled my stats for my next guy but not sure what I’m gonna be yet, got 18 STR and 18 CON so probably fighter/barbarian but I’ve got 13 WIS too plus I get a feat, so maybe if I chose a good Race/Feat combo I could make a Melee Ranger or something.  Who knows.


Anyways, I’ve also been playing some GTA 5 “online”.  I put online in quotes because I fuckin hate playing in sessions with other people cus they’re a bunch of fucks.  Either they have millions to spend on rocket bikes with rocket launchers on them or they can fuckin cheat and delete all my money OR even give me hacked money which could potentially lead to me being banned.  So yeah, fuck other people in GTA 5 online.  For some reason Rockstar still thinks it is a good idea to require you to be in a public online session to even take part in some of the content (read: content that is worth doing) even though people have been complaining about all that bullshit for years.  “Luckily” there is a workaround to get in a solo public session, it is called resource manager and then suspending the gta5.exe process for maybe 10 seconds and then resuming the process.  If you do it right when you alt tab back into the game your screen should be spammed with xyz has left the game x500.

So doing that I created my own corporation and did VIP work (Headhunter and Sightseer) missions earning about 25k a pop per ~10-15 minutes.  The main point of the game is to make money so that you can buy new ways to make more money and I guess eventually once you can make enough money fast enough you can buy anything you want finally.  Like a stupid rocket powered rocket launching motorcycle or something.  Luckily you can do the VIP work missions in an Invite Only session so you don’t have to worry about buttfucks ruining your shit and having to alt tab suspend process resume process before you start anything “important”.  If you don’t know how to start an invite only session, start GTA 5 in story mode (single player) then press ESC, go to the Online tab, click Play Online, then choose Invite Only session.

Unfortunately to start a corporation you need an office, the cheapest of which costs $1 Million (a small loan).  Once you can do that though you need to grind up like, I forget, $250k maybe $500k for a Small Warehouse.  With that you unlock Illegal Goods missions where you pay to get a mission for 1-3 illegal goods which you need to pick up and transport to your warehouse.  There can be plenty of obstacles in your way from police to hostile NPCs to roaming NPCs carrying one of the goods spreading out.  If you’re doing it solo and you choose the 3 items mission you could end up only getting 1 or 2 because of a time limit and the fact that you can only carry one at a time (though I’d say most times the mission wont split them up and you can just grab the vehicle that holds all 3).  The biggest drawback here is that you have to be in a public session to do these things.  Once you get 9 items in your warehouse I would recommend selling those items.  You will have to do a mission to deliver the goods to the sale point, you will probably be attacked, if some fuckhead blows up you and your vehicle then you’re fucked so suspend/resume process right when you start it.

Once you’ve done that enough and have like $1.5 million you can buy a vehicle warehouse.  Just like illegal goods, sit at your laptop in your office, in a public session, and request a job.  For vehicles they call it Sourcing.  You source a vehicle, go steal it, possibly shoot some guys, and then take it to your vehicle warehouse while trying to not damage the car because you have to pay to repair it.  Once you’ve taken it to your warehouse you can use the laptop there to export it to a buyer, if you spend money to upgrade the cars appearance/add modifications you can get more profit from the sale.  But you also have to deliver it to the buyer and you will run into NPCs shooting guns at your pretty car cus they’re still mad you stole it.  The damage is deducted from your mission reward.  I just recently unlocked the Vehicle Warehouse and have been having fun doing that a bit.  Finally feels like I’m making good money.

Arma 3 Exile

I saw that Arma 3 Apex was on sale so I bought it for some reason.  I had an urge to play some Arma 3 Exile so I downloaded a million mods and the A3Launcher, found a server to play on and jumped in.  It was pretty exciting for the first few days.  They added roaming AI which are in vehicles and just drive around.  If you shoot at them theyll stop and all jump out and fuckin aimbot your dick off, unless you’re better.  There are also on foot AI that can spawn in little towns.  Apparently there can also be “good guy” AI that spawn in a town that will fight the bad guy AI, I may have seen this once but I wasn’t going to stick around to find out and just killed everyone.

That moment was pretty cool too.  I had approached a small town I wanted to loot that real players probably wouldn’t be at (trying to make money to I can build a base/stockpile before I go out with gear to lose).  I was still trying to get a hang of playing this game again so I went prone under some pine trees while I looked at the key binding menus and looked at shit.  Earlier I had picked up and equipped a radio.  So I’m going through the configuration menus and I start hearing footsteps crunching on leaves.  I close the menus and start alt-looking (looking around you while holding alt so that your player’s head moves but not the rest of his body) around trying to see wtf is up but I’m prone inside a tree so I can’t really see anything.  Then I get a message that my radio is picking up a signal.  I start hearing radio chatter that sounds like they’re looking for someone.  Footsteps still all around me.  Then I see a guy, he walks passed my tree and keeps going.  Another guy walks by in another direction a little bit after that.  I see the first guy has turned around and is practically coming right fuckin for me, at this point I’m shocked that being prone under a tree is actually working against aimbot AI.  Then the one walking towards me stops and starts shooting.

It sounded like the other guy could’ve been behind me so perhaps that is who he was shooting at.  But as I said before, I wasn’t about to find out, so I stood up and killed that guy, strafed around the tree I was by and took out the other guy as well.  I have no idea how the 2 aimbot AI didn’t kill me but I felt like a god damn superhero after that.  Looted their guns, walked into town and looted it as well.  I had bought a motorcycle capable of carrying some loot (though not being able to be locked) and hid it in some nearby woods.  When I had filled it and myself up I went and sold it all for maybe 3-4k.  I think a Safe is 10k, a flag to declare land yours is like 5k for the smallest territory, materials for building are probably like 20k for maybe a 1×1 room but really I have no idea.  So I still had quite a ways to go.

Another trip to the same small town resulted in vehicles driving by which I hid from because I thought they were players.  I later realized they weren’t and planned ambushing them.  I managed to win a few of them but I died my fair share as well.  One thing I learned was that if I didn’t break the vehicles and I killed all the AI, I could use their vehicle to store loot and then in town I could sell the vehicle + all the loot at the same time.  The first time I did this I made over 10k which obviously caused me to change up my plan.  I was now a professional roaming AI ambusher.  The biggest problem is an NPC with a sniper rifle because they probably won’t miss and if they hit you you’re probably dead.

I’d managed to buy a safe and hid it in the woods.  My bank capped out at 50k so I moved it all to my safe which can hold I think 100k or 120k, something like that.  I think I encountered my first player when I was transporting all of my money and it scared the goddamn shit out of me.  For some reason I only spent $50 on a fucking bicycle for my transportation vehicle.  So there I was riding a bicycle across a field towards the woods when I hear the sound of a big vehicle.  Suddenly explosions nearby, 3-4 smoky explosions a little behind me in the field.  I start bobbing and weaving, on a fucking bicycle, and somehow manage to escape into the woods.  It sounded like he tried to find a better angle on me as he kept firing barrages of explosions at me but once I got in the woods I just kept going.  I passed my safe so as to not inadvertently lead him to it, but after a bit I calmed down and made it back to safely deposit all my money.  Stressful.

I don’t know if I’m going to return and play this anymore.  PUBG is coming out on the 20th though that does lack permanence which Exile provides.  So we’ll see, I’ll definitely at least take a decent break because I haven’t played the new PUBG map cus willpower so I should be balls deep in that for a bit after it launches.


I recently decided to give the Dungeon Runs a whirl in the Kobolds & Catacombs expansion or whatever the fuck you call it in a card game.  I gotta say it is pretty fun even though it is incredibly obvious that your OP items really matter a lot.  Almost to the point where I’ve considered just losing on purpose to start over and try to get an OP one after the first boss.  So far I’ve beaten it with Hunter, Rogue, and Mage.  Working on Warrior next which has been a little rough.  Rogue was the hardest for me, I needed a lot of Jade guys as well as permastealth to finally win.  Then I told my roommate that and he managed to win it his first try thanks to getting a lot of Jade guys.  Only had to try like 20 times myself lol.

Mage felt OP the whole time but then you would just lose for whatever reason while still feeling like you’ve got a good deck.  Hunter is my favorite since day 1 so I had to do it first.  Can’t even remember what I was doing for that one to win, I think +1/+1 all minions and start with an extra mana crystal maybe.  One thing that bothers me about this is that you literally get nothing from doing this.  Even if you beat a dungeon run with a deck, you get absolutely nothing.  Give me some fuckin gold you stingy bitches, what the fuck?  Oh you mean if I do it on all 9 classes I unlock a CARD BACK?!  WHOA WHAT A FUCKIN DEAL GUYS!  You mean I can change the back of my cards in the game mode that requires me to spend shit tons of money to even be remotely competitive?  Gee, thank you so fuckin much for being so fuckin generous.  Oh my daily quests don’t even complete in dungeon runs?  Good, I didn’t want that to work anyway, amirite?

I mean, I get it though, Blizzard really needs to make money so they can’t afford to give me even 5 gold per dungeon clear.  Literally just trying to play the game based on it’s merits, feels fucking weird.  Give me some gold you fucks!

Anyways, that is it, mind dump complete.  Hope all you google bots enjoy your holidays.

Evil Loot Crates/Cosmetics Only/Shitty Game DLC Patches

Apparently there is a bunch of kerfuffle goin on all over the internet for a certain EA game.  First of all, the fucking first one was kind of a piece of shit that they totally could’ve built onto and made a better game, but instead they decided to make a brand new one only a short time after the first came out.  If that wasn’t enough of a sign that it would be problematic, I don’t know what to tell ya.  Of course that doesn’t excuse it, more just like a, no fuckin shit.

For a while I’ve been of the mindset that as long as the loot crates are just cosmetic, who gives a shit.  Now it is a bit different for me for CS:GO because these items could be sold on the market for real money which led to gambling websites being used by emotionally stable children who then send death threats to players who lost (not to mention some players throwing games for phat loot).  Another aspect in CS:GO is that you’re teaching children to fucking gamble and not only that but in public servers there are literally kids begging people for free skins, it is fuckin disgusting, they have no shame.

But, besides all of that, I was generally of the mindset that cosmetic loot boxes that maybe you pay for a key to open or whatever were fine.  I am now starting to not feel that way because of an undesired consequence of people like me feeling that way.  Every game and it’s fucking grandma now has these loot crates for cosmetics.  Now, normally that wouldn’t be a problem, fuck it, just ignore that little number in a corner of one of your profile screens or something.  The problem is as soon as you open the games now your fucking game is advertising bullshit to you.  Buy the new fuckin dumb bullshit pack or upgrade to the omg I want two ingame items that give me an advantage over others edition.  It is the same reason I haven’t upgraded to Windows 10 yet.  As soon as I did I noticed there was a fucking store button on my goddamn start menu with built in links to fuckin  No thanks, I don’t want to have to fuckin groom my computer to be the way it should be, that is, without bullshit.

And the same thing goes for games in my mind nowadays.  I already fucking bought this game, stop fucking asking me for more money.  If you want more money, FUCKING EARN IT, and that doesn’t mean selling me shit that should’ve been in your shit game as an extra tacked on bandaid.  Your game fucking sucks, you should be ashamed of it and fix it, not try and get more money out of me to pay you for your fucking incompetence.  For an example that may shock you, look at No Man’s Sky.  They have more than doubled the amount of shit you can do in that game since launch and they haven’t charged a penny for any of it.  Should they have clarified more about the game before it launched or delayed launching for longer?  Yes, but they’ve kept quiet and kept their nose to the grindstone and delivered a product much closer to what people thought they were getting.


Tiny Updates

For kids who can’t update good.

So our DnD group was going to start meeting two times a week but it appears that isn’t going to happen anymore, I guess someone agreed more out of excitement than practicality.  Oh hwell.  We’re still going to have the two different games going, one being the original where I’m a Sorceror and the second being the Strahd campaign where I play a Paladin.  We’re going to alternate games every week I think but I’m not 100% sure how it is going to workout, especially since one of our payers is only available every other Friday.  I think this week we are going to do Strahd but it is also the time that the biweekly guy is playing and he is originally a part of the non-Strahd campaign.  But, doesn’t really matter for me so we’ll see how it goes.

I gotta say the last time we played the Strahd campaign was pretty awesome.  We’re going through this house that we know has a Ghost in it and a bunch of undead things underneath it.  Everything was spotless until we got into this bedroom on the 3rd floor.  The DM mentioned there was a mirror in the room so I walked up to it and said “I look into the mirror”.  As I did that I noticed a Specter appear behind me and boom, roll for initiative.  Was probably the coolest start of a fight I’ve encountered in my limited playtime.  Then it almost one shot me with a crit and now I’ve got the fear of death real good in muh bones.

In PC game land I’ve been fiddling with Assassin’s Creed Black Flag and it has been pretty enjoyable.  I also bought Project CARS because for some reason I had this weird desire for a racing career mode game and after googling “best pc racing career mode” it seemed that Project CARS was the winner.  That has been pretty fun as I started in 150cc Kart racing and advanced to 250cc.  Of course having some success meant I got invited to special races where they use real cars, which I did really bad in lol.  Maybe I should just stick to Mario Kart.  But no, I’ll figure it out and my thumb will also stop hurting from trying to turn so hard.

I’ve been messing around in GameMaker some more.  Trying to make a character creation screen in a sort of watered down D&D like game.  One of the things I’ve always wanted to make since I started trying to learn how to make shit is a goblin cave/mine.  When I finish the character creator I’d like to have different starting locations for each class and the Fighter, I mean Warrior is going to start as a prisoner in a goblin cave, GOD DAMNIT!  I’m gonna fuckin do it.  Though maybe it should be the Assassin (Rogue) since he could probably pick his own lock, but maybe an NPC Assassin will be a prisoner with the Fighter.  Iunno, I kinda wanted some alone time to learn how to play first before introducing other party members.  There I go gettin ahead of myself again.  Dreaming this shit up is a lot easier than making it a reality.  Though I will say the more I do it the easier it gets.

Anyways that is it muchachos.

Someone fuckin kill me please

So I ordered them Hazelnut k-cups on Amazon Wednesday.  Guess what arrived today?  Not the fucking thing I ordered!  They gave me 3 boxes of Green Mountain Pumpkin Spice coffee.  Fuckin gross.  I need some goddamn caffeine you sons of bitches.  Luckily Amazon gave me a refund but now my trash is full of 5 boxes of shitty k-cups.  I JUST WANT MY FUCKIN MORNING FLAVOR YOU GOD DAMN BASTARDS!

Off Topic as shit: Grove Square Cappuccino

I’m just writing this so that it exists on the internet because I couldn’t find jack shit about it when searching.


I love Grove Square Cappuccino k-cups, preferred flavor is Hazelnut because the smell reminds me of Lucky Charms cereal milk.  The last time I ordered a pack of 96 online though I was sent a shipping box filled with individual k-cups, not very fuckin practical for storage (and my previous order from the same damn Amazon seller had 4 boxes of 24 or whatever).  So when I ran out this time I didn’t really want to order it on Amazon again because that shit was fuckin dumb.


So I went to the store nearest me that I had gotten them from before, Wal-Mart.  Unfortunately they didn’t have my flavor but they did have Caramel and French Vanilla, so I figured fuck it, and I got a box of both.  Yesterday was my last day with Hazelnut so today I opened a new box of French Vanilla and grabbed a k-cup and shook it like I normally do so it doesn’t have any problems in the Keurig (this working/doing something may just be in my head).  Except something different happened this time.  Instead of hearing the powder flying around inside this little cup I heard a god damn rock.  Flipped the box over and it says best by April 2018.  I was like, eh, maybe I’m fucked and I just got a bad one.  Open the Caramel box, same fuckin thing.


I was pretty bummed out about it but figured, fuck it, let’s see if it works.  It did appear to put the brown colored liquid into my cup but I didn’t really get a big french vanilla smell that I’d assume to smell.  So while I was letting it cool I started searching google about this bullshit and couldn’t find a god damn thing.  Having since tasted it I must say I am god damn pissed.  It tastes slightly different than water and since I bought it a week ago I don’t have the damn receipt, not that I’d want to fuckin do that anyway.


So now for the keywords so that anyone else running into this bullshit might find out that their shit is going to suck.


grove square cappucino cappuccino grove market caramel hazelnut french vanilla solid k-cup not powder not expired is it good is it okay is it bad


I don’t know if any of that shit is going to work butt fuck it.


On a side note I’ve been playin D&D Friday nights and we just started another game on Tuesday nights.  Perdy cool.