Derpadoo

I have no idea what I try to get out of playing games. But Bonedead, they are just games, you say to yourself. Games are there to have fun, you tell me.

Oh you mean they’re not there to make you feel good about yourself because you’re the number one best motherfucker in the whole world (or you’ve wanted to be and never have been lol)?

I don’t know wtf I want, man. Work has been good, got promoted, finally doing real work and feel like I’m contributing to the company while also keeping the internal machine running (company books bro). It feels good. My social life is completely non existent though. I used to go to a bar on Tuesday’s and use some buy one get one on Tuesday’s only text message coupon, but I just can’t get that in to drinking like I used to.

Anyways, I bought Morrowind, Oblivion, and Skyrim this month and have played the crap out of them all. The series is quite enjoyable (though I couldn’t force myself to attempt to stomach the older 2 games). I did get lonely though, even though I play MMOs solo most of the time, I do still enjoy rare encounters when people try to talk to me or something and I ignore them completely most of the time. So, I tried to think of a game I haven’t played in a while that in my memory reminds me most of The Elder Scrolls. Now that may sound like a reasonable thought process, but here is the flaw. Thinking of a game I haven’t played in a while. So from the get go, I don’t REALLY remember anything about it, I am basing my judgement off of a vague feeling I have about a game that I played years ago. The game that I chose is AoC. Yep, you read that right, Age of Conan.

AoC has changed a bit since I last played. It is now free to play with a cash shop. I had 7/8 character slots filled and since I am a free player now, I can only unlock two of them. So, I obviously used the one empty slot to make a new character. There are 3 whole servers for AoC now. One is PvE, PvP, and like Blood and Guts Glory to the Emporer PvP or some equally radical title like that. I chose the crazy one not knowing wtf I was getting into (I still don’t even know the difference).

It is not really like The Elder Scrolls at all, save the questing in Tortage where the NPCs speak. Can’t pick up every little thing everywhere, even though there are a literal fuck ton of boxes that look like chests. It seems like half the mobs don’t even drop loot, though of course every one of them have a sword and shield. But these are things I can get passed, because I realized that there isn’t one fucking MMO that is like that.

I have only played two days or so (and rather lightly, I add) but am honestly not having a terrible time. I barely remember the story so that is good. I have mainly been sticking with the main quest (much like I do in TES) which means I don’t get quite enough exp all the time and need to go outside and kill some shit every now and again.

I have heard plenty of complaining in the Neil Patrick Harris channel (NPH, New Player Help) about people ganking and camping newbs. I imagine this is going on in White Sands as that is where I vaguely remember first encountering PvP way back when. This led me to avoid that area during daytime. However yesterday I did venture there and saw one guy half my level.

I do believe there are level restrictions on who you can attack so it shouldn’t be that bad. Anyways, I shall resume playing it some today. I’m hoping that I will run into one of these griefer guys and that he won’t be way bigger than me.

Oh, I am playing a Demonologist because it was the lowest level I had previously.

That’s it bitches, gtfo!

15 Minutes of Low Level Warrior PvP with Queen

The 2nd song is also the third song, whoops! Grooveshark playlist tricked me!

Click here to go to the stagevu page and watch the shit! The best part (killing wise) is near the end. But this is what a win looks like, throwing yourself at them over and over, you don’t have to win yourself to win as a team. But, staying at the top of the list of the damage dealers is a nice bonus.

Video is 250 80 mb btw, forgot to mention that 😮

MegaVideo has a 57 or so minute limit to the amount you can watch for free each day. But, they don’t screw you out of your audio like pretty much every other video hosting site does. Huzzah MegaVideo!

I’m posting this before the video is “finalized” on the megavideo site but it’s stuck at 10% so I don’t wanna wait to post! Deal with it!

Conquest Points, I Wish I Knew It Was This Easy

I’ve been decking myself out in PvP honor gear recently. I had a trinket (not the kind that gets you out of shit) and 4 pieces of the set minus the head slot. My friend and I made a 2v2 team a while back, we hadn’t played but it was my rogue and his warrior. We finally decided to step into the arena on Monday, except he wanted to use his warlock instead of his warrior, so he made me leader and I invited his warlock.

We dove into our first match with no real plan, I was to stealth and sprint out real fast and try to sap one of them from the get go, then we rape the other one. If the first one pops his trinket, my friend fears him til we finish off the first guy and voila, victory. Well it didn’t quite go according to plan every time, but for the most part it worked. We ended up capping our Conquest Points with a 5-4 win-loss record. The cool thing was that the next day our Conquest Point weekly caps had reset (it resets weekly on Monday night/Tuesday morning) which allowed us to win another 1343 conquest points.

Our second time around we went 5-7 :(, but in our defense we were now playing against teams who had about as much experience as we had, and not the 0 rating people that we played the day before. We now both had enough Conquest Points to buy new main hand weapons, ilvl 359! Fuck yeah! 90 dps increase over my old main hand. So awesome. Another awesome thing that I did not know existed: enchant scrolls!

What my friend noticed was that when we went up against 2 DPS classes we usually won. Personally, I didn’t pay attention to that stuff, I just tried to stab stab good. My favorite that I can half remember was against a shaman and something else (half remember). It was in the arena with the little bridge in the middle and two pillars next to it. The shaman went straight to one of those pillars and dropped totem. We later realized that this was their ideal map. We lost that match but played them again for our next match. We won this second time and that was when I realized that the previous map was their ideal map. The shaman uses a big fuckin knockback spell, so on the pillar if he gets attacked, he can buy 10 seconds of healing time or dps time by blasting anyone attacking him off.

Our 2v2 rating is now 930 or so with a 10-11 record. My resilience is right below 2500 which gives me about a 26% reduction in damage taken from players, pretty cool imo! My plan is to finish deckng myself out in honor gear with rings necklace and cloak. My next CP purchases are going to be an off hand and ranged weapons. My friend plans on setting his warrior up for PvP to get his CP and to help feed my arena appetite. I need to get on an active 3v3 team, but, gdamn do I hate meeting people lol. I wish I remembered the guys name who wanted me to be on his 2v2 team. 😦

Anyways, that’s my little update, good day!

Bit of a Twist

WoW has been on hold a little bit, I am now trying to do a level a day with my priest, so far so good (currently 52).

Darkfall! What can I say… I rerolled. I know, I know, all that time AFK swimming/everything I ever did on him, gone. So the obvious question is why? Well, I will tell you! I was an Ork and I am now an Alfar. Do the hitboxes really matter and/or are they really different? No. I think I didn’t want to be that guy anymore, I just didn’t like him, dumb name, dumb face, looked big and felt tiny. It just wasn’t a good match. But now, I am tiny and I feel huge!

So what have I done on the new guy so far? Well I’m nearing 50 1 handed sword, 30ish Archery, 40ish Lesser Magic, 40ish Tailoring, and that is about it I think. My plan for this guy is to go full force into 1h/mounted combat, eventually rounding out with a 2hander and magic/archery skills as well.

I won my first fight in Darkfall already. I am currently 1-0 (on this guy) thanks to not getting ganked due to not running into to gankers, I got the shit scared out of me by some scary dudes who turned out to be friendly and familiar, but more on that later. So I’m killin goblins, right, and I’m not at the scouts only spawn so I need to stay on my toes due to shamans being buttholes (at the time) and kicking my ass. I’m fighting a Fighter and I see a figure with a shield in the distance, it looks very similar to a goblin so I don’t pay it much attention but keep it in mind. I kill the fighter soon after I skin it and as I am looting it I see this “other goblin” rushing me. Turns out this was no goblin but a red (alignment, so pk) Alfar coming to kick me while I have 50%hp. I switch to my sword/shield, unsheathe, and charge the guy hitting him before he hit me. We trade blows for a bit, one for one for the most part but I miss a couple so he got in 2 for my 1 a couple times. I am not winning and this is not cool. I start strafing like a mad man swinging my sword all over the place, doing this “swinging” like motion with my character and my sword swings (thats what it felt like – swinging) and before I know it I’ve hit him 7-8 times and he hasn’t hit me once. He ran behind some rubble (imagine a rock wall with the top broken off, one of us on each side) and I pulled out my bow. I drew my bow, this is when I heard his footsteps running away, I aim at the top of the rubble and see him jumping over the other side, I loose an arrow and hit him right in the back, reminded me of pulling some BS in cs. He keeps running and I keep shooting him, 2 more times in the back, he turns toward a hill and as he is about to go out of sight I loose one more arrow, knowing it will fall over the terrain and land in his ass, which is exactly what happened. I pulled out my sword, ran up, pressed x, and clicked for the gank. I looked at public chat and see that he let out a fuuck before he died.

So yeah, that was technically my first one on one victory against someone who wanted to fight me, and it felt real good.

I had completed the quests in my starter town and had one that sent me to the next place. This new place with a bank and two people feels pretty secluded and very unsafe. I get the quests to kill Hivekins, complete said quests, and then get the follow up quests to kill harder ones and the Queen. I venture out to the area marked on my map and discover the harder hivekin are fucking harder as shit, I also spot the queen aka that one dude in Blade that is fat as shit living in a basement. This is when I notice the other people with shinier armor. Shit! Hide! Did they see me? God I hope not. I begin moving to their side for a closer examination. I am pretty sure one of them sees me as he is facing in my direction and strafing left to right (I am hiding behind a thin pole so I am strafing slightly with him in an attempt to stay out of view). I come out from my hiding spot and put my xhair on him and shit a little bit more, this is Paragus, SynCaine’s guild leader. Shit now I’m going to die to him and maybe his friends and they’re gonna blog about it, damnit. There goes my e-rep…. But, that did not happen, he let me be. I begin killing a Queen when hell fire shit storms begin raining down on it from above. Then I got a pm from SynCaine himself asking me not to kill the Queen because Paragus is using it to skill up his big hellfire shitstorms. Pretty cool I thought.

I joined the clan NEW for some reason. I am pretty satisfied with this decision as I can get free shit if I like, which I haven’t, yet, and the NEW tag over my head makes people want to come and get some “easy pickins”, little do they know I’m not that new. So if I keep sticking to the newb areas while I skill up I hope to get attacked by more people like the one who I whooped.

That is it for now, time to play some games!

Some action already!


I decided to quit while I was ahead (in death toll) instead of losing it all like the last time I got some. I think as soon as I level up to death toll level 1 I will be able to talk to the vendors finally. Maybe get some sweet new big badass gun too that kills level 24 dicks who kills level 8s.

Anyways, back to the wastelands!

Fallen Earth PvP and more

I got a rifle on my rifle using toon in Fallen Earth. It sounds like it should do more damage than it does, but hey, I can hit shit from 70m away (starter xbow is 20m range). But can I actually hit shit from 70m away? The xhair is mighty large with a big ass gap in the middle of it, plenty of room to miss even when your xhair looks like it is directly on them. One shot will miss while another from the same spot will hit. So what I do now is just fight shit close range, one shot in the head and one in the chest and most things are dead. Bullets are fuckin expensive. Crafting is out of the question as it takes as much time to raise that as it does to level my combat toon high enough to be able to use the ammo. Thank god for the Franklin’s Riders, they sell me 20 heavy rifle ammo for 123 white chips, pretty expensive considering 100 bullets is a little over 6 blue chips. Pretty damn expensive.

After acquiring my new rifle I went to the PvP zone by Depot 66. This PvP zone is a circular enclosed area with two entrances. Near one entrance is a tower you can climb up to, which is where I set up camp. It wasn’t long before someone showed up. I shot him once, for about half his health, he shot me twice, I shot him again, he shot me again and I died. It was sad but hey, he was level 11 and I was level 6. So I hiked back there and found my friend sitting in my old spot on the tower. This time I decided to use range to my advantage and shot him from quite a distance. When I hit him he scrambled down the ladder, I drew in closer to the base of the tower, and he comes around the corner guns a blazin. He shot me once and I shot him once, he missed his next shot and I did not. He done been killed, huh. So I killed a level 11 at level 6 and his name was Blo Hard if you wanna look him up and laugh at him. I waited for him to return and he did. This time I was set up on a small building near the center of the enclosed circle. He came in the entrance close to the tower which was pretty close to me and I was able to shoot him once as he ran towards the building I was on. I jumped down to finish him off and he was gone. What’s that? How is this possible? Oh yeah, logging out. LAWL. Big bad level 11 losing to a little level 6, poor lil feller.

I set up camp again on my new favorite rooftop, leaving the tower empty even though it is so sexy. I see someone approaching. It is possible to see players on your minimap as they appear as a little white arrow. He saw me and stayed out of my sight. He was right at the corner and I knew he was watching my arrow so I stood up and ran around on my roof a little bit which made him scurry on out from behind the corner, thinking he could make his move. BAM! Shot him once, he is now under half health and at the base of my roof. I jump off, round a corner and blast him again, victory! This guy was level 4 lol, but hey, a PvP zone is a PvP zone.

What is the deal with the ragdoll physics? Has anyone else noticed that they’re a little, I dunno, off? Since when do I shoot a guy once; he doesn’t die or move at all, in fact he keeps running straight at me, but if I shoot him again and he dies then his body goes flying in a million different directions usually several feet in the air. Explain that please. I hit a guy with a melee weapon and he’ll literally fling under my body and up in the air behind me falling on the ground. Explain that please. That’s what I thought, it just aint right.

I sold everything on my crafter to buy bullets for my rifle dude. It is funny to me because the one character that I’ve pretty much “disabled” is the one named Bonedead. My melee guy is Jason Bonedead and my rifle dude is Boblee Swagger (I know, I’m lame).

On my melee guy I was using one of those posts with a concrete ball on the end of it, which was working wonders in the one hit kill arena, but have since switched to a Kensho training staff thing. It attacks faster and all around has a higher dps, but there are hardly any one hit kills. A fair trade off I believe is that a miss isn’t as big of a deal anymore since I swing again almost immediately.

Getting back to my rifle dude, after those PvP encounters I waited a bit and no one showed up. So I hopped on my ATV and drove over to Slaughterville which is a ways west of where I was. It literally took me around 10 minutes to drive there if not more. I do not feel nearly as comfortable here because it is not very open and you can’t get that much higher than your opponent so it is hard to get an advantage. I always drive through these PvP zones first to see if anyone is there, then I park my ATV outside of the zone and waltz on in. As I’m walking around, patrolling the area, a man on a horse charges me. He’s in a clan, SiN, and is either a level 11 or 13 (I forget) who uses double zip guns. He does about half my health to me pretty quickly and I begin circling him to avoid his bullets. I start hitting him with my shots (prior shots weren’t hitting him as I was getting hit and that always makes it harder) and got him under half health. It became clear that he couldn’t hit me anymore while on his horse and that I was going to kill him, so he turned and ran.

A false sense of pride overtook me, I’ve killed a level 11 today, and now I’m making another high level guy run away. Go me, amirite? WRAWNG! I chased him down and he was now off his horse blasting 50 friggin bullets my way so quickly. Long story short I died a couple times. The last time I tried to fight him was the closest I got to winning since the first run in. I got on top of some boxes and he was down below, we were just peaking around at each other blasting away, it was pretty intense. But alas, I did not pull that one out.

I find it difficult to start playing at times and I’m not sure why. I enjoy the game when things are going good, maybe it is because I have a few toons I play and I’m still not in Sector 2. Maybe it is because I find these little points in the game where you’re stuck with running around quests and no real direction is given at the next place you should go to. Maybe it is because I’ll get a quest to go to a new quest hub and the quests have me killing level 1 mobs. Maybe it is because I hit invisible walls all the goddamn time. I don’t know. But I do find myself playing more CS:S lately.

At first I was going to play CS:S to work on my aiming for Fallen Earth, then I was playing CS:S to catch up in rank to some of those buttholes on my favorite server, and now I’m still trying to catch up to them but I’m also trying to beat the pants off them. But what about Fallen Earth? I need a goddamn scope mfker. Maybe this upcoming 3 day weekend will provide me with enough time to get my rifle dude where he needs to be to really enjoy himself.

I took him up to another PvP zone far north of Slaughterville after my failed encounters. The ride was long as all hell and when I got there it was just an open field. The PvP area was far greater than any of the other places I had been, the only problem was there wasn’t anybody in the damn place. I drove to the edge of the map looking and even took 31 damage from the “kill zone” aka the edge of the map. So that zone kinda sucks big balls imo. I wonder what larger scale PvP would be like in this game, I feel like I could really shine in a setting like that. Me sitting in the back, everyone aiming at people that aren’t me, me aiming at everyone else. I have tried to get enough death toll to talk to the death toll NPC merchants, but have not. The highest I had was around 200 which was maybe 20% of a death toll level, but I lost all that to Mr. Bees Knees of SiN.

I hope to get my rifle man to where he needs to be so I can own some face in an MMO finally. But we shall see.

Ugh, here’s an "update"

I don’t have shit to talk about really. I’ve been playing UO WoW for a little while and it is pretty fun. My Warlock is amazing. At level 64 I soloed a level 72 elite. Just yesterday I soloed an elite mob with 179k HP, no problem. The way to get gear on this server is to raid Silithus. They have created mobs that drop gladiator pvp gear and sprinkled them across the land. I think that when I’m 80 on my Warlock that I might be able to solo them, if things stay the way they are. The only way I could see this not being possible is if the mobs hit very hard. I do gain a lot of HP quickly and easily.

Yesterday I played my Shaman a bit, he’s almost 70 now. He is pretty good, my only complaint is when I miss half of my swings for 10 seconds straight and my Windfury doesn’t proc. But then there’s the times when I hit everything and proc everything and every proc crits and the mobs dead in 2 seconds. I’m considering trying out a 2hander soon, only problem is that my talent spec needs points in the dual wield talents. If I find a way around it I’ll definitely give it a shot. But, I already have a Gladiator 1h axe lined up to use, so maybe I wont.

I was playing my Priest yesterday, because after my Shaman I began moving from one to the other sporadically. I was fighting mobs and all of a sudden I’m flying across the screen. Fucking Death Knight! He was level 73 and I was 64. I just threw up a shield and put on the dots while using the mind flay. Then I began running out of range reapplying the dots. He was going down and he finally realized it. He turned to run back to Shattrath but didn’t quite make it. You don’t drop your loot until you release, and this guy wasn’t dropping loot. So I waited, and waited, and waited some more. Finally I decided to send him a tell.

“Gimme your loot!” I said.
To which he responded “Kiss off”.
I replied with “You’re the one who tried to gank me, I’d say I earned it”.
Then he tried to trick me by saying “have fun waiting, I’m going to play an alt”.
But I know that if he logs out, he will probably drop loot. I wait some more and send him a tell just to check if he is online. Yep, still on.

I logged out and got on my Warlock. I rushed over there and he still hadn’t released. I then decided to get on my rogue since he has stealth so the guy won’t even see me. Unfortunately my Rogue was in Sholazar Basin near Avalanche and had a nice little run ahead of him. Oh and then the flight path at River’s Heart didn’t work so I hearthed. Short story even shorter, when I got there he had already released, looted, and went to play an alt.

I haven’t had many PvP encounters. While my brother (80 Mage) was PLing me a little when I was in my 70s (and at Avalanche) I was stealthed next to him as he was healing. Then I see a Rogue sneak up behind him, so I Cheap Shot him, get a few combo points, Kidney Shot him, realize he’s level 80 and I’m hardly hurting him as the stun wears off. As I get done lubing up for the rape I’m about to receive the guy RUNS AWAY. So that was funny.

I went to Avalanche on my Rogue recently looking for people to gank and loots to steal. On my way I ran into a Mage and a Paladin leveling up. Huzzah! I gank them and then receive a tell from the pally. Aren’t we allied with your guild? Hahaha, shit. I haven’t played my rogue very much and since hes the only one in the guild I am not up on the politics.

I’m pretty sure I’ll be better off playing the Warlock as my main. I just love the class so much, due to it’s overpoweredness. I remember 70-80 going much faster on my rogue, which I believe is why I’ve caught this altitis.

Anyways, here you go.

What has been up?

Well, I’ve been playing the UOWoW.com server for a few days. I have played a little Free Realms but there really hasn’t been any incentive since it is a broken fucking dickface. The leaderboards are STILL not updated, they haven’t changed since the first time I ever looked at them a week ago.

Kart Driver and Demo Derby Driver do not gain experience. Nobody knows if this is intended or not because SOE doesn’t tell anyone shit. It is just too shitty right now to get into because every problem I run into, when I search the support base or the forums, nobody has said anything about it save for a few players who have run into the same problems. I figured that I couldn’t be that amazing at the Hack n Slash game so I got an even higher score of 21720 or something like that. My fastest time is 43 seconds I believe.

I’ve heard complaints of leaderboards for time (it takes to complete a mini game) being messed up. If someone quits before the game is over, that time gets saved as their fastest time, and it gets displayed on the leaderboard. Failzor!

So, I haven’t been playing much Free Realms. However, my fiance tried it out yesterday, and 5 hours later she was paying for it. Now I’m pretty sure she loves it (though I suspect she will burn out soon). I believe she got a Miner to level 9 or so.

As for UOWoW.com, that shit is pretty cool. The server resets a lot, but it doesn’t take but a minute to restart, and when you log back in the field of corpses you logged out in is now a field of mobs. I am level 42 already, yep, that’s fuckin right. Level 42 in a couple days, huzzah! 10x exp is friggin great, plus the green and blue drop rates increase, add that in with the fact that people drop lewtz.

I’ve died 3 times to players I believe, 4 if you count a group of 3 killing me twice. The first time was a level ?? one shotting me in Stormwind. The second time was a 43 Rogue in the Deadmines while I was 36, I didn’t attack him when I found him, yet he attacked me when he saw me, when I came back I raped his face for being a stupid Rogue. Then I was out in I think Tanaris? Wherever Gadgetzan is. I went through the tunnel and into Pirate land, where I was jumped by 3 guys my level.

I need to bind my bottom left action bar to alt+1-2-3-4 etc, so I can get to my Death Coil easier. I doubt I could’ve taken the 3 guys as they were all my level, but I really think I could get 2/3 if I got the jump on them and played my shit like a pro. I’ve done shit like that before because I’m awesome like that. Shit, I killed a ?? Warrior in STV (in real WoW) when I was in my 40s. I just dotted him up and tried to keep him feared while launching my instant shadow bolts whenever Nightfall procced. It got to the point where I used Unending Breath and just started swimming down, after a while he just died. Good stuff.

The players are fucking annoying. It seems just like a regular WoW server because all they do is bitch bitch bitch. They don’t understand that they’re basically playing in Beta and that there is basically only 1 dev, who actually responds to players in world chat. Yet everyone and their mother is so goddamn entitled to speak their mind about how this one stupid skill doesn’t work and how on real WoW servers you can do this and this. Oh my goodness, I have to submit a ticket for my problem? OMG! What kind of barbaric world is this? I can’t stand them!

I actually was lucky enough to run across one of the whiners in STV. I dotted him up and sent him a running with fear. He used his ice cage thing (mage) and said “Seriously?”, because he conned green to me, I didn’t say anything and just spirit tapped and drained life as soon as his ice thing wore off. Aaaaand you’re dead! I was mainly pissed because I figured most of the whiners were level 70-80 and lost things that mattered a bit more, but this guy was green to me, just shut the fuck up and level. The best part was he dropped his Hearthstone as loot! I didn’t even know that was possible. Anyways, I found him again to give him his Hearthstone back because I’m such a nice guy, and he says “What, you can only kill me when I’m fighting mobs?” as we’re running into the safety of the guards in Booty Bay. I said, actually, I’m trying to give you your hearthstone back, newb!

I also got his staff, but I said he doesn’t get that back because it sucked. What kind of mage uses a +6 agi +6 spirit staff? Seriously?

Since loot drops are through the roof, cloth drops are as well, therefore, I am a tailor! Turns out tailors need leather from time to time so I took up skinning and raised it to 190 in a couple hours, which was gay, because I wasn’t getting XP. But now I’ve got a ton of Heavy Leather for making Silk Bags (10 slot) which I can sell for 75 silver a pop on the AH.

My brother is playing with me, as well as 4 from PKer.org, and it seems like it could be a real fun end game. My brother was skeptical at first due to increased XP. He has played a few free servers before I guess and they always make him resub to the real thing because of how crappy they are. But he says this one is different. It even feels a lot like Athlore he says, which is the free UO shard we played on.

So that is about it!

I’m updating from work, if I was at home I would have uploaded a few Free Realms screenshots. One being of my new high score in Hack n Slash and the other being the end of a race I did which said I got 2nd place but then ranked me as 1st place on the final tally. Workin real good aren’t we Free Realms? I want you to be good, but you’re sucking too much right now!