Just going to use this to get some things off my mind, hopefully then I will feel more willing to do the work I get paid for.
First off, NIENTONSOH ERMAGERD. If you are confused, I understand. I follow professional League of Legends. The LCS is expanding (LCS is to LoL like NBA is to Basketball) by adding 2 more professional teams this season which means there is a tournament being held for those 2 spots. One of my favorite players is Nientonsoh, I first saw him when I first started watching the LCS, he managed to backdoor the nexus against Velocity, they still lost, but it was the first time I felt excited watching the game.
He was later added to CLG as a neglected top laner (which was kind of CLGs style imo) but the ruthless fans only viewed him as worthless because the team only used him a certain way, which didn’t necessarily mean he would get kills, and since dumb people think it is all about your KDA in the TEAM game, he was kind of trashed on reddit quite extensively. CLG was looking promising, but the pressure was too much for Nien and he stepped down.
Anyways, he has since joined another team with a handful of talent and they did so good yesterday in their matches. It really makes me feel good to see him and his new team succeeding and I really hope they make it to the LCS.
In other news I forced myself to get out there and mix it up…. online. By that I mean I played some Competitive MatchMaking in CSGO. I’ve played CS since beta 7 which was about 14 or some odd years ago. I have played this game for literally half of my life (turned 28 last Wednesday) and yet for some reason I always talk myself out of playing MM. Honestly it is a bit of everything keeping me from doing it, lack of confidence, fear of rejection, all of those healthy things.
But yesterday I decided to just do it…. under certain conditions. Those conditions being that I do not queue up for any of the active duty maps because people just take things a little too seriously on those (because they’re all going to be the next cal-i pro as fuck cs player amirite) and instead only queued up for the new operation Vanguard maps (minus Season because imo it should be active duty already). I even allowed myself to listen to music for probably 5 matches (which my teammates probably wouldn’t have liked). I was finally able to play it and not take it as seriously while still getting that “this is kind of important” feeling that you want out of something like that.
I did get messed with a time or two but overall it was good times. Even when I did get messed with I didn’t let it get to me (very long) and would just jump back into the next one when I could. One of the biggest breakthroughs for myself would probably be that I was able to “get into the zone” multiple times to the point where I didn’t know I was the only one alive against 3 people. You may be thinking, wait, but it is a team game, shouldn’t you be paying attention to that kind of stuff? The answer is, well, yes. But the point of it is that I wasn’t overwhelmed with the stress of knowing I was the 1 in a 3v1, I find that when I know that I don’t play as well.
My ranking took a pretty big hit though. I have still been getting matched against some Master Guardians and other AK guys most of the time but my ranking is now Gold Nova 3 which it hurts to type. But when I play at that level I don’t feel like I can enjoy it as much because for some reason I wasn’t able to lose and still view it as a good game, usually because of teammates who get sooo fucking mad over a video game, poor sports. I know eventually I’m just going to have to stop letting turds ruin my fun, but for now this feels like a step in the right direction. I finally did what I wanted, I felt good about myself by doing it, and I actually enjoyed playing the game and had fun. So I kinda feel like I won the internet.
Anyways, that is all I needed to get off my chest. Maybe more soon, maybe other whacky crazy shit! MAYBE ILL GIVE AWAY A MILLION DOLLARS HUH? YEAH, MAYBE ILL DO THAT ! WEOOO