Hilarious in my own mind

And that’s all that counts.

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LotRO, err I mean LotR:O, err LOTRO, err…

Let’s stick with the first one. LotRO, Lord of the Rings Online. I recently won a free copy of the game courtesy of Kill Ten Rats (Clicky is that way—>). I haven’t played the game since open beta. Now that I think of it though, I think I did. I think I did a free trial at one time, I mean, I pretty much had to. I’m sure if I go back a year in posts I will discover that I have, which I honestly forgot. I knew I leveled a Manstrel (man minstrel) to around 15 (and think I even started Book 1 or some crap like that) and also an Elfanger (elf ranger). I say I just realized this because I just figured out how to get MyLotro to work (hint: use your forum name/password) and saw that I had a 14 Guardian and a 50 Wolfman or something. No Manstrel nor Elfanger.

So I’ve got another account out there somewhere. Big whoop.

I downloaded the game on Sunday, intending on playing all day Monday, due to having the day off and such. I took a nap (read: smoked all day and it always catches up to me in the PM) and woke up at around 11 PM EST. I had about 20 minutes left on the download, awhellyeah! It finishes, starts installing, aaaand I hit my first snag. I need .Net Framework 1.1 or some shit. Turns out Vista doesn’t “come” with it. Download that, install, retry. Okay that works, installation complete. Click play, type in my password, and click okay. Alright it opens up, resizes, and it’s gone. Hmm, let’s try that again. Click play (not an icon on my desktop or anything, noooo, we have to open the download manager and click play every time, joy), type in my password, and click okay. It opens again, resizes, again, and it doesn’t disappear! Full screen mode is entered and the Moria loading screen comes up, huzzah!

Well shit. What class am I going to play? I remember the Minstrel being okay but not really for me. I like being the class that can do anything because it is overpowered. That’s why I eventually made a Mauler in DAoC, why I liked Warlocks in WoW, and Witch Elf in WAR (and Structures Trader in SWG…). Anyways, I remember reading recently about the Rune-keeper being amazing. As in a group of them beat some crazy Turtle encounter in around a minute (and from what I understand Turtles are really hard in this game). So of course I made a Rune-keeper.

Dwarf Rune-keeper to be exact, named Thirmur. Why Thirmur you ask? Well when choosing my name I followed the rules so graciously bestowed upon me by the great LotRO gods themselves. If more games did that, more names would fit in the world, just sayin’.

I leveled to 7 and Dwalin (from The Hobbit, right? been quite a while for me) had one of those instanced, Travel Now, quests. But wait! Before I can continue with this quest, apparently I need to download the game… But wait, didn’t I just do that? I quit the game, check out the download manager, and what dya know the fucker is downloading an 11GB file. Great. That should go over well with my 1.5 mb down DSL, yep. Oh well, I tweak my settings for downloading it, in an attempt to reduce download time as much as possible, I even open up a port. I go back in the game, get back on my Dorf and begin roaming the lands looking for a way out! Nope, not today sonny!

So I rolled a new guy. A Hobbit Burglar, because, well I don’t know why, because it’s what Frodo would’ve done? Hey what dya know, I’ve done all these quests before and I kind of remember that (the same happened for the Dorf but on a much smaller scale). I get to level 7 pretty quickly, maybe an hour, and I go back out of the game to check the download (hurray for alt+tab capability!). So in around an hour or two it has downloaded pretty much 1gb. That’s not great, but it’s something. I figure, if I go to sleep and wake up in 6-8 hours then I’ll only have to wait a couple hours in the morning until I can resume play! I can easily play CS for 1 or 2 hours! So I go to bed.

The next morning my fiance is up and getting ready for work (haw haw, I don’t have to) and I ask her to tell me how close it is before I even think about getting up. At this point I am not planning on taking her to work (we share a car) because I hate having to go pick her up after a day of weed and games. She says it has 1 hour and 7 minutes remaining. Alright! Then she says it has downloaded 2gb out of 11gb. Wait a second, that doesn’t make sense. Upon further review the estimated time of download said one DAY seven hours remaining. Fuuuuck that shit. This is my last day of this weekend, and I’m fucking playing a game I haven’t played in forever, and I’m going to fucking love it god damnit.

It is at this point when I realize what I must do. I must turn off my computer (rare occasion) and put it in my car. I must take Melanie to work. I must pick her up from work while not feeling up to it. Because I must take my computer to my work and take advantage of the FIOS goodness. So I drop her off, go to work, hook up my computer and begin the download. I also begin streaming the Fellowship of the Ring because that’s how I roll. I then go to Burger King for some om nom nommin breakfast. I return to work and I have about 2 and a half hours on the download. I go home, take a shower, and begin streaming the Fellowship of the Ring on Melanie’s computer. Because that’s how I roll.

After my DSL fails at streaming and I’ve got some weed in me, I decide it is time to return to the office. My download has about 50 minutes remaining, awhellyeah! I continue watching the Fellowship for about 30 minutes and check the time again. 30 minutes left! Yay! I load up Steam and fire up CS. Wow, downloading LotRO, streaming Fellowship, and playing CS with a lower ping than I get at my house. Man I need FIOS. So I play some Gungame and surprisingly win and get accused of cheating in the same game, how great? I really need FIOS at home. Before I know it the download is complete and installed.

I fire the game up just to make sure it is done and there are no surprise patches or some shit. When I see Dwalin is willing to talk to me again I shut down, pack up, and head home. I almost stopped by Wendy’s for a triple cheeseburger ketchup only with a medium fry and a large frosty, but I didn’t because I am strong!

Anyways, I leveled and shit. I reached probably 11 and yesterday I made it to 13. I haven’t had any problems fighting mobs, but I did die once and it made me feel bad. It was at that goblin place by Gondamon errr the place before it? The one where you attack 1 dourhand and he comes with 2 goblins then 3 goblins come out as well and rape rape rape. Yeah it never happened again, but it still happened. And now I don’t get any more cool titles like The Wary or The Undefeated. Because I have been defeated. It is almost reason enough to reroll, but I shouldn’t.

I am currently at Thrasi’s lodge. I believe I will be moving forward soon to wherever is next. I remember being in this place and doing most of these quests still, but I cant wait for the new stuff I’ve yet to see. I think that is one of the biggest reasons I liked that UOWoW server, fast leveling, and thus seeing the new zones and beyond where I’ve been. I just like it.

Without further ado, here he is!

In other news:

Ugh, here’s an "update"

I don’t have shit to talk about really. I’ve been playing UO WoW for a little while and it is pretty fun. My Warlock is amazing. At level 64 I soloed a level 72 elite. Just yesterday I soloed an elite mob with 179k HP, no problem. The way to get gear on this server is to raid Silithus. They have created mobs that drop gladiator pvp gear and sprinkled them across the land. I think that when I’m 80 on my Warlock that I might be able to solo them, if things stay the way they are. The only way I could see this not being possible is if the mobs hit very hard. I do gain a lot of HP quickly and easily.

Yesterday I played my Shaman a bit, he’s almost 70 now. He is pretty good, my only complaint is when I miss half of my swings for 10 seconds straight and my Windfury doesn’t proc. But then there’s the times when I hit everything and proc everything and every proc crits and the mobs dead in 2 seconds. I’m considering trying out a 2hander soon, only problem is that my talent spec needs points in the dual wield talents. If I find a way around it I’ll definitely give it a shot. But, I already have a Gladiator 1h axe lined up to use, so maybe I wont.

I was playing my Priest yesterday, because after my Shaman I began moving from one to the other sporadically. I was fighting mobs and all of a sudden I’m flying across the screen. Fucking Death Knight! He was level 73 and I was 64. I just threw up a shield and put on the dots while using the mind flay. Then I began running out of range reapplying the dots. He was going down and he finally realized it. He turned to run back to Shattrath but didn’t quite make it. You don’t drop your loot until you release, and this guy wasn’t dropping loot. So I waited, and waited, and waited some more. Finally I decided to send him a tell.

“Gimme your loot!” I said.
To which he responded “Kiss off”.
I replied with “You’re the one who tried to gank me, I’d say I earned it”.
Then he tried to trick me by saying “have fun waiting, I’m going to play an alt”.
But I know that if he logs out, he will probably drop loot. I wait some more and send him a tell just to check if he is online. Yep, still on.

I logged out and got on my Warlock. I rushed over there and he still hadn’t released. I then decided to get on my rogue since he has stealth so the guy won’t even see me. Unfortunately my Rogue was in Sholazar Basin near Avalanche and had a nice little run ahead of him. Oh and then the flight path at River’s Heart didn’t work so I hearthed. Short story even shorter, when I got there he had already released, looted, and went to play an alt.

I haven’t had many PvP encounters. While my brother (80 Mage) was PLing me a little when I was in my 70s (and at Avalanche) I was stealthed next to him as he was healing. Then I see a Rogue sneak up behind him, so I Cheap Shot him, get a few combo points, Kidney Shot him, realize he’s level 80 and I’m hardly hurting him as the stun wears off. As I get done lubing up for the rape I’m about to receive the guy RUNS AWAY. So that was funny.

I went to Avalanche on my Rogue recently looking for people to gank and loots to steal. On my way I ran into a Mage and a Paladin leveling up. Huzzah! I gank them and then receive a tell from the pally. Aren’t we allied with your guild? Hahaha, shit. I haven’t played my rogue very much and since hes the only one in the guild I am not up on the politics.

I’m pretty sure I’ll be better off playing the Warlock as my main. I just love the class so much, due to it’s overpoweredness. I remember 70-80 going much faster on my rogue, which I believe is why I’ve caught this altitis.

Anyways, here you go.

Free Realms – Still no working Leaderboards

I know what you’re thinking. Bonedead, big bad Bonedead, bitching about a kids game. Well I don’t care damnit, I am capable of beating these kids, and damn it, I paid to be able to!

I submitted a ticket to customer service explaining my disappointment in the Leaderboards functionality, or lack thereof.

Here is what I said:

I’m pretty sure I should be #1 on the Hack n Slash mini game (Sword Testing) Leaderboard. I have beaten the current high score twice and have screenshots on my blog. I would also like to point out that on the Time section of the Hack n Slash (Sword Testing) Leaderboard there are a ton of people with the time of 31 seconds. I believe they failed the mini game in 31 seconds, but I highly doubt they completed it in 31 seconds, because if they did they would be #1 on the Score Leaderboard for the mini game.

http://bdadv.blogspot.com is my blog where the screenshots are located.

I haven’t been playing because of this. I am not here to be with my family or my son and have a jolly good time. I like all of the new little games to try and beat, all I am asking for is some recognition. I paid the same amount of money as everyone else.

First response from a Referee:

Greetings Richard Smallpiper,

This is Referee -censored- answering your ticket. I understand that you feel the Leader Boards are not accurate. Since this is a matter which Referee are unable to assist with, I will direct this issue over to our technical support department who will be best to assist you with your concerns. If this has caused you any trouble at all, I do apologize. I appreciate your ticket Richard and hope you have a wonderful day.

~Referee

Second response from a TSR:

Hello,

The leaderboards do not update constantly. They compile all of the data from all of the servers every couple of days and then update. Could you please continue to watch them and I’m sure you will see your stats increase.

Regards,

Okay. First off, I got my first high score before May 1st. Today is the 14th, so I’m not 100% sold on the whole, every couple of days thing.

However, he is right, my stats did increase as I noted here. However, I am almost positive my current high score (as shown on leaderboards) was attained after beating the current highest score of all players.

Here is my 2nd response:

Thank you Referee for your assistance.
Thank you as well TSR for your response.

I scored higher than the current high score before May 1st. I have since beaten it multiple more times. Just yesterday, I created a video of me getting my highest score yet which I intend to upload to my blog sometime soon (after I reduce the size). I have noticed that since submitting this ticket I no longer have access to the Leaderboards. If that means it is being worked on, great, but I will be rather disappointed if my scores have not been logged. I’ve noticed that for the Hack n Slash game, the faster your time, the higher your score. Since I have attained the highest score (that I’m aware of) yet, I know that the fastest you could possibly complete the game in is above 40 seconds. Yet the first page or two of the Time Leaderboard is filled with players with 31 seconds.

I haven’t played this game for around a week (minus yesterday) simply because I cannot climb the leaderboards.

Since I cannot access the Leaderboards (this is day two of no access) I still consider this issue unresolved.

I threw in that last tidbit because their emails say if I do not respond in 72 hours that the issues would be updated to resolved, and the end of today would be 72 hours.

But yeah, yesterday I decided I would record me beating the current high score. Well, I managed to beat my previous highest score of 21,790 with a 21,8something. I have a feeling I could break 22k if I played it some more.

I’m just curious if I am the only one who cannot access the leaderboards or if they are down for everyone. Because they were up until I got a response to my ticket.

Also, there is no mention of this Leaderboard downtime on the Announcements Forum.

While looking through the announcements forum I came across the most recent (May 11th) patch notes. One fix caught my eye.

* At the end of a kart race, Portraits, Total Time and Placement now appear properly

If you go back a page you’ll see my screenshot pointing that one out.

I just want leaderboards to work, that is it. If you’re going to advertise it as a feature then you should probably feature it in your game.

Another thing that chaps my ass is that if you search FreeRealms support for “leaderboards” there is only one question, located here.

Can I see my score and compare it to other players?
On the Leaderboards you can check your scores. If you are a member, your score will be posted for everyone to see. If you are not a member, only you can see you scores. But your scores will be saved if you become a member later. You can also check a game’s High Scores from the mini-game start window.

Let me emphasize some of that:

…But your scores will be saved if you become a member later. You can also check a game’s High Scores from the mini-game start window.

My scores do not appear to be saving and I AM a member. I also cannot check the high scores in game, there isn’t even a button to do so anywhere in or out of the mini game.

Come on SOE, I heard your damn commercials on Nickelodeon, how about fixing some shit first?