Nuclear Throne and WTF was I thinking?

Well I bought Nuclear Throne yesterday and dove right in. My first foray lasted a grand total of 42 minutes before I got tired of dying at almost the same level every time lol. I’m not sure what I was thinking, I’m sure I could get further if I made it my main game but there isn’t anything about it that can really make it main game worthy for me. I ended with 109 minutes for the day, I think the furthest level I got to was 3-2 whatever that means.

There is some enjoyment to be had though, sometimes you’re just on point shooting 2 pistol shots at everything like a fuckin robot and nailing them because I’m superhuman. But then there’s also shit like killing the last guy and the portal to the next level sucking you in before you looted that chest right there. As you kill mobs they drop green shit which is like nuclear waste but since you’re a mutated fuckin thing that is good for you, thus it is your exp. As you level and advance to the next level you can pick a mutation which offers some bonuses.

The furthest I made it spawned some big boss mfker that shot me seeking missiles and shit tons of regular projectiles. I feel like I almost got him cus I hit him with multiple grenades before falling, but I guess I’ll never know. You unlock more characters to play as the further you get and they each have their own bonuses and secondary abilities. Overall it is a pretty fun game and I’ll probably play a few runs for the next few days. I wouldn’t recommend spending the money on it unless you’re okay with this type of game.

After bashing my head into the wall that is Nuclear Throne I had a new urge for something to bash my head against, so I bought with nostalgia on the mind. Golden Axe! This was my jam back when I was 4 or 5 or whatever, I was always the green Dwarf guy with the battleaxe. First I tried Beginner mode which is a joke and felt confident to wander into Arcade mode. My first (and only) run I actually made it to the final boss, fuck yeah go me. I had to use all 3 credits which means I think 12 lives total? lol, but I STILL DID GOOD! At the end of each run the game gives you a grade and I got a C :(.

I really have no idea what I’ll be doing today. Maybe some Darkest Hour though it seems like I’m not going to open that game for some reason. I may buy Rogue Legacy as it is like Nuclear Throne except a little quirkier with random heroes every run who can be like color blind or reverse movement buttons or an actual positive buff. Now it looks more like Darkest Dungeon cus I’m talkin with my roommate about how I’m better than him and he’s not so sure, so, I may have to accept this challenge. We shall see, ggwp, gtfo.

Salt Demo Thoughts and What to Tackle Next

Well I downloaded the Salt demo yesterday on Steam and gave it a whirl. It is hard to “review” Early Access games because they’re obviously not done and contain bugs. With that in mind let me just say some things that I think the game will need to address before release. Low hanging fruit and such.

First of all the islands are too small in my opinion, some of them were kind of big but they didn’t have an increased number of resources so it actually only made it more difficult to find them. If there are a few tools you need to craft that require a “rare” drop from a rock node, and most islands have maybe 2-3 nodes, you’re going to be hopping from island to island a lot trying to get them. Maybe that is what they’re going for, a boat riding nomad who don’t need no house. But for me when I play an open world sandbox survival game, one of the first things I want to do is make a house, some tiny little shack where I can be safe in and get my bearings in the game before going out and building a bigger house in a better place.

However, there isn’t really a need for shelter at this point in the game as the only aggro mobs are Pirates who surprisingly are never sailing ships, they just sit near campfires on islands and charge you when you get in range. Man it is hard to feel like you’re giving an incomplete game a fair shake. I will say it has potential, that is definitely true. But such is said about most Early Access games. I guess for now it is too early to tell really and I’ll just have to check back in on it later.

I find myself both loving and hating Early Access. Darkest Dungeon is the only Early Access game I’ve bought that actually finished itself and improved. It really seems like so many publishers now are just trying to cash in quick and work on something else to do the same thing. For instance: Windward. What a great game, playing alone is so enjoyable, I just can’t stress enough how much fun this game is. But then you find out that the two other starting factions don’t expand out of their starting zones (AI problems). Apparently this game was designed for online multiplayer! Where you can feel the lag, see people flying around in airboats you didn’t know existed, and be given shit by those airboat drivers that is far beyond what you should be using. There is only one “official” server and it is MODDED! They changed all of the factions! I really couldn’t believe it when I saw it. So I tried to find info about AI expanding in singleplayer and all I could see was a post from a year ago by the guy who made the game saying that he was working on it or going to do it eventually or something like that. The thing is, I don’t think he’s trying to do that at all. He got Workshop support for the game and was recently pondering on Twitter if his next game should be 3D or not. I get that maybe he’s tired of the game and wants something new to do, but man, it is just disappointing especially when the online play is so lackluster.

Today I am either going to buy Nuclear Throne and give that a whirl or play a new Darkest Dungeon campaign without using any torches and having everyone go fucking nuts. It’s weird because the old me wouldn’t ever give these kinds of games a try. I always thought like, those games don’t look that special graphically, they’re just like the games I played on console back when I was a kid, why would I choose to play something like that? Luckily I’m a lemming and saw some streamer, probably Lirik, play it on Sub Sunday and was enticed to give it a whirl however long ago when it first went on Early Access. That alone didn’t really influence me to play more of these non 3D games, it was probably mainly watching Lirik play so many on Sub Sundays. Which, is actually where I saw Nuclear Throne for the first time as he played it a week or two ago and it looked pretty cool. When I see games like that my first thought is always The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past which was pretty much my first gaming endeavor, playing with my brother all day for days in the summer until it was beaten.

So yeah, I’m kind of excited that I’m willing to try more things nowadays, the Steam store is my oyster and all that good stuff. So in theory tomorrow I should have a post about either Darkest Dungeon without torches or Nuclear Throne. Shit I may even return to Secrets of Grindea and have something about that. Probably not though, I kind of don’t want to go too far in that game due to it being Early Access, don’t want a bad taste in my mouth. Alright, that’s it, ggwp, gtfo.

What in the shit is goin on?

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Alrighty then, so, what do I talk about here again? I feel like I’ve missed quite a lot of things. Like, GamerGate, whatever the hell that is? I think it might be about like not enough female protagonists or something and it is also tied into like feminist movements that aren’t really about equality maybe or something? No idea, don’t care at all though. Just figured I’d throw that out there since you’re kinda supposed to have opinions on things or something if you want to talk about games. So my opinion is, I don’t care, I care about games and how fun they are and how they mix shit up to make things more interesting, anything else is a waste of my time.

Butts and stuff! As you can see my vocabulary has progressed quite nicely since however long ago it was that I last posted frequently. I’m fuckin smart guys. So smart that I totally know what direction this post is going.

Gaemz. Apparently I was playing DayZ Mod last time I was posting, err, nope, I had stopped playing that and was playing Divinity and thinking about playing other shit like D3, CSGO, PoE, and AoW3. Those games are all fun. Divinity got tiring, we felt like we made it pretty far but it was pretty slow going and I guess we kinda just lost interest. PoE always sucks because their fucking servers blow and I always forget about that until I’m level 30 and the servers start to suck. I don’t even have to mention D3 because jesus christ, I just can’t make myself do that anymore really. CS is kind of in the same boat as D3, sure they’re good but, I’m just tired of it.

I feel like I’ve played a lot of games recently, some being out of my usual comfort zone. I hardly play any MMOs anymore which was one of the big genres that got me into writing about these things. It’s like they don’t even try anymore, or maybe they are trying and I just can’t do the fuckin quest hub to quest hub never reading the quest text cus it is a god damn race against no one for some reason.

I’ve played a fair bit of Arma 3 mods, namely Battle Royale, Breaking Point, Exile, and King of the Hill (not really a mod I think?). I always have a lot of fun playing these mods but it always ends up being a little frustrating because it is fucking Arma and Arma is fucking wonky sometimes. If you’re kind of into those games though I would recommend trying all of those mods.

Recently I downloaded Darkest Dungeon again as I hadn’t played it since the initial Early Access phase. Holy shit is that game fun for some time. I was pissed at first due to corpses and got to like week 47 in a game with corpses disabled. I had a team of 4 up to level 5 and lost half of them before retreating. It was a pretty sad time, but I got over it. I did so by starting over, this time playing with corpses. I really like the mechanic now that I get its purpose, which is to make some of the classes that don’t seem as useful pretty fuckin useful. I always play by keeping my torch at 75 or above because I’m scared, but recently I’ve been thinking about trying the crazy no torch shit. We shall see. I would highly recommend this game, normally I wouldn’t try something that looked so, not 3d and shit, but it was definitely enjoyable.

I recently got the Secrets of Grindea early access game and have been enjoying it. It isn’t complete but I’d suggest that you try the demo. It is just a classic little rpg with fun dialogue. Only played one night coop so far but it has definitely left its mark on me. I’m now searching for other games I can use my ps4 controller to play though I haven’t quite found anything yet.

I’ve played a decent amount of those early access survival games. I also tried Wurm Unlimited recently. Now I used to be a regular at pker.org which was all about pvp and UO and how good the old days were and such, it shut down a long time ago, but this Wurm game was talked about a lot back then as being the ultimate game we all wanted. Full loot open world pvp was that popular tagline iirc. Anyways, that is not what Wurm turned into apparently. I downloaded the server software so I could play with my friend and found the default settings are 3x skill gain and 3x action time, meaning that the game is supposed to be 3 times slower skill gain and take 3x longer to perform actions. I cannot imagine playing it that way as the grind is already so fuckin real. It seems the only people really playing this game are more into Minecraft type building stuff. From what I experienced on the Mythmoor server the game is pretty cool though it is very daunting, hard to figure out at times, and of course grindy as all hell. But if you’re into that, give it a whirl. You can play Wurm Online for free I believe to try it out. Wurm Online is like the official version whereas Wurm Unlimited is like the player created server version.

Right now I am thinking of playing Salt. It is another early access open world survival game. The main difference is that you can build boats, the world doesn’t end, and there are pirates! I really want to build a boat and fuck up some pirates, like so gdamn bad right now. The graphics look pretty shit and I just know it is going to have its problems due to early access open world survival, but, I don’t even care man, I just wanna fight some pirates on a boat I made.

Oh yeah, I tried Blade and Soul a little bit. Holy shit how fuckin dumb. I could almost swear the minimap is the exact same thing as the one in Tera. The reason I fuckin hate this piece of shit though isn’t because it is necessarily bad, though it probably is since it is an NCSoft MMO, its because it pretty much stole $5 from me. There I am, launch day, waiting in queue to get in. I notice in the queue window it says, underneath my non premium queue, that the premium queue has 0 players in line. My friend checked and it is like 399 points for premium for like 7 days or some totally dumb gay microtransaction bullshit, but we figure, fuck it. As soon as we purchased those packages, literally as soon as it happened, guess what the premium queue did? It changed from fucking 0 people in line to goddamn 3000 people in line. IT WAS THE SAME FUCKING AMOUNT AS NON PREMIUM QUEUE! That was pretty fucking infuriating, but the queue did actually start to move and after a few games of Rocket League we were both in and ready to be underwhelmed as shit. Suck a big fat dick NCSoft, you dirty fucks.

I think that about covers most of the shit I’ve done since my last post. I may try and get into doing this more, maybe play weird games I wouldn’t normally and review them, or just say dicks a lot, who knows. Anyways, ggwp.