Buh-de-ba-dee-dee-dee That’s All Folks

First of all, I know Porky says it longer, but just typing that much was pretty difficult. Let’s spell sounds! Onomatopoeia and all that. KABLAM!

I am done with Darkfall for now. Maybe I will return after the NA release, but I just doubt it. What is the problem? Well, the game is pretty much too good. Yep, you heard me right, I’m laying down Darkfall because it is too good.

But how is that even possible, Mr. Bonedead? Well, I’ll tell you my friend. Ya see, when I like a game, it is the only thing I care about until I no longer like it. That is where the problem arose. Ya see, I’m engaged to a lovely lady that I care for immensely. Turns out she was feeling a little neglected with all of my Darkfally-ness going on, so I picked what is more important to me.

Plus, Mortal Online is going to be starting beta (if they haven’t already) and that’s gonna be the same if not better than Darkfall. So instead of saying but but but I’ve waited for 8 years for something like this! I can say, well shit, there’s going to be more than 1 eventually, which could lead to even more, so fuck it.

I would’ve just cut my time back to an hour a day, maybe a little more, but I just can’t get a feeling of accomplishment in that time playing DF.

I can in Diablo 2 though!

Single player Diablo 2 LoD (even updated it to the most recent online version) is the shiznit. I decided to attempt to relive a nifty Paladin build that impressed me dearly when I was but a wee newbie. Blessed Hammers and Concentration! I get both skills at 18 and am currently 17. My plan was to reach 18 yesterday but after I got the Horadric Cube (DECKARD CAIN!!!!) I decided that was enough. Well after I transmuted my chipped gems into flawed, mofucka!

Yeah, Diablo 2 is hardcore, Darkfall can’t touch that shit!

Well, technically it is in a way. I’ve even been considering giving it a shot. Remember? Once you beat Diablo 2 online (closed Bnet) on any difficulty (I believe) then you can make Hardcore characters. You remember, the ones with PERMADEATH!

That is the most hardcore shit in the world mane. You can’t touch permadeath.

Yeah I don’t know if I will do that, but I may, who knows. I’m not really ever looking for HARDCOR3 FUCK YEAH shit, but I do enjoy it from time to time.

I’ve put in my leave of absence at Murder Herd. I wish those guys the best of luck, I had a blast with them, and they’re going to be a rather annoying force for the remaining players of Darkfall. I logged in Saturday morning to find 2 buildings, our grove, and our clan bank smoking. Apparently Awful Company, being extra awful, decided to bully some small guilds into becoming their loyal peons, and about 10 guilds attacked our city with siege hammers as well.

We were able to repair the bank with the 1 repair kit we had to go with a repair shard. Repair kits were a secret in the morning and by the end of the day we could buy them from our merchant, go Aventurine! Hah.

It sucks that I’ve got to stop playing because we were about to start being more offensive instead of always defending our city. Fuck our city lol, we’re gonna rape some people. Meh!

Diablo 2.


‘Neakin behind enemy lines

As you may be aware, my guild hates Awful Company, and rightly so. Well a few of us low rank people with our bad skills decided we were going to go and gank some of their gatherers. I was very excited about this because I like gathering but I also like fighting and this plan satisfied both, sorta.

So we get on our mounts….scratch that. We don’t have mounts so we head out of our SE gate and keep going straight. None of us really knew where their city was, but we all knew it was in that general direction because that is the direction they run off in.

As we’re hopping from tree to tree, attempting to be sneaky SOBs with non existant stealth, our leader spouts off in vent that, hey, there’s a guy! Well we all set our paths to engage and everyone but me sucked at that. So I was the only guy whacking this guy in the back with my 1h sword and he wasn’t dying. I started strafing to the side to let my teammates try some ranged attacks as well.

All of a sudden I take a decent bit of damage as a mounted big friggin dude decked out in uber gear rides by and slashes at myself and the person I’m pursuing. So I shit my pants a bit and think, it’s cool, we can probably take him eventually after most of us die, but then I realized it was a guildy! Huzzah! He raped the guy down and he was naked without loot. Sadface.

We continue on our way and begin to notice more and more loading lag (when you can just tell a character is being loaded within a mile range of you, somewhere), so our group leader begins telling us to be sneakier! Bonedead! Get your fuckin head down!

Damn man I’m fuckin sorry I’m not an emo elf or puppy dog, I’m sorry I chose Ork because of the disadvantages, to prove I’m a bad ass. Excuuuusee me.

Anyways we continue on and see a mounted character in the distance. He is riding a drake which is a pretty sweet looking mount, especially off in the distance with the fog and shit. Whatdya know, another guildy! This one is a higher up fo sho and tells us to watch out for the hill giant sluggers which we’d been running from already. We parted ways and continued on!

After only about 2-3 minutes after leaving said guildy we encounter some uber loading lag and the group leader starts freaking out. Fucking Lieutenant Dan style from Forrest Gump. SIT DOWN, AND SHUT UP! So we did (people call me Forrest Gump). We start crouch walking from tree to tree and then we see some mana missile effects in the distance.

As we approach from the side we can now see about 7 Awful Company sitting on a rock. Only 1 is moving and the rest are sitting down. We begin discussing the possibility of attacking and winning. I mean shit, if 6 out of the 7 guys are afk, I think we have a pretty good shot amirite? As we’re about to move in, people start standing up! Fuck fuck fuck, bonedead crouch your big ork ass back down behind that tree (mothafucka!)!

Someone in the group said they were exploiting, I don’t necessarily think that was the case. Even if they were, they didn’t need to, they had plenty of people to mana missile some hill giants down before they reached them. I don’t know if standing on the rock changes THAT much.

So we moved on from those guys, knowing we must be close if this is where their farming group is. So I hopped tree to tree, again, I got yelled at to keep my head down, again. Then we saw it. On the top of a plateau with a small lake or some shit near it. We stop at a tree and discuss our plan. We remember that we’re here to kill gatherers and so our plan is to start hopping tree to tree some more, somewhat away from the city, and look for people gathering on trees, rocks, plants, etc. Right after we talk about this, one of our group members pipes up in vent:

“There’s a guy lumberjacking on the other side of this tree!”

Oh man was that fucking great or what. We got 2 guys on each side and once we were in position we rushed in and gank gank gank. Awful Company, afk gathering, because we’re really good!

We get a little freaked out and run off a bit in an attempt to stear clear of any mean guys trying to defend their city. Well, one of our guys somehow gets bugged and the only direction he can move is backwards lol. So we’re all hiding behind a tree and he’s crouched walking backwards saying am I getting close to a tree? It was pretty gold. He rested and it corrected itself but for a second there we seemed a man down.

We swing around the city a bit more and begin to see a ramp in the terrain that leads up to the plateau. It has a funny dick shaped rock on it with two completely differently sized testicles. Our order from our group leader was to run to said dick rock and climb/hide on the enormous left testicle. From there we peered over to see the city gates, tee hee hee hee.

There is another big rock towards the gate and to our right, we’re told to make a dash for it. We get behind it, hopefully unseen, and begin discussing what to do next. Well I guess some gatherer or something decided it was a good time to return to town because he came up behind us, stopped for a second, and then took off for the fuckin gate.

CHARGE! Stop that man! The group leader and the guy who noticed the lumberjacker stuck to the Lieutenant (his rank in Awful Company). Myself and my buddy Murderface noticed a miner just kind of sitting there to our right and charged his ass. This one is a Colonel in Awful Company and is one of the SDS (Seven Deadly Sins). His name is Sloth. Sloth was afk and we took his pickaxe and his 20 stone (baaad).

The other guy didn’t drop much either, so our mission was technically pretty damn fail.

After we killed the guys we knew we had to get the fuck out of there and now. We jump down the plateau and head for some rocks close by. Shit, there’s a mount in front of us in the distance. We sit still, because sometimes that is all you have to do to avoid being detected. The mount runs off our screens into the distance, we assume he is looking for us. Sloth SDS runs from the same direction as the mounted player, so I guess that is where they respawn. He ends up running right passed our group leader and didn’t even see him. Then another mounted guy does the SAME THING. Didn’t even see him.

We’re trying to decide which way to run. We don’t want to run into anyone looking for us, this mission will be a failure if we die. Someone suggests going to the left (opposite direction of mounted guy), the leader says south (could possibly lead us into the mounted guy who went SW), and I say we should go SE because then the mounted guy probably wont find us. Group leader was alone to our right, we were behind a rock. Well the mounted guy goes around our rock and comes up beside us! Fuck! I say in vent, alright we’re going south east, see that big rock, fucking get behind that big fuckin rock, and I took off. Somebody reports more mounted players on top of the plateau looking at us.

The rock seems so far away but we just keep sprinting. Since I am in the front I decide to take a second and check behind us. The mounted guy that snuck up behind us was not giving chase! WTF?

We were not being pursued at all. This did not make us anymore calm though, if anything it made us more paranoid of a mounted army or some shit coming out of nowhere and raping us. In hindsight I believe they thought we had a bunch of guildies behind the rock for an ambush.

So we get to the rock, climb a bit on top and rest. For all we know we still have some defending to do and stamina is friggin important. The group leader gets up and looks around, seems clear, and we get the order to run to another rock.

Once we get to this rock we’re told to bindstone recall and that we did a good job and all that jazz.

It was a good feeling and I had a great time.

Oh and (look at system chat)

This weekend bitch (the one that just happened)

WoW WoW WoW, fo seriously.

We created a guild (Drak’thul Horde) named No Quarter Given. We’re supposed to be roleplaying pirates, however, we can’t get any recruits lol. Go figure, all we wanna do is make the bad kids “walk the plank” and we can’t even get em to join. Sad face.

3 of our 4 are 30 with mounts, woot woot. Our 4th started Thursday I believe so, he has an excuse. We’re going to get Deserted Soul from PKer.org to join us, woot woot. That’ll make 5. We don’t really have a solid setup, cus we’re stupid, but as it is now we have 2 30 Mages a 30 Warrior and a 12 Rogue. One of the mages has a Pally at say 12 which we might make him start playing. We need a solid group capable of doing these low level instances and we just don’t have it yet.

Tempers are starting to flare regarding instance loot. Since the 2 mages want the same shit and 1 of them seems to be getting everything via the luck of the dice heh. We’re gonna need to be able to run shit easily. So someone’s gotta change, and as much as I don’t want it to be me, I could probably play a shaman. Especially with my new found wealth. I’ve never bought gold from IGE and I don’t support it, but I gotta say, they’re pretty reliable, quick, and relatively cheap….

I doubt I’m going to have to switch after talking to my brother a bit more. We’re gonna make the mage who gets the phats (and steals them from my brother lol, aka guild leader) play his pally. Apparently he’s not good at mana management, so why not make him our healer… Riiiiight. Anyways, that is the plan. That guy plays a fuckload anyway so he should be able to catch up.

That is about it for now, love yous!