DayZ Adventures Part 1: Trapped in a Castle

I’m doing this post a little differently in that there will be some bold words and a bit of, I guess you could call it, organization.  I wouldn’t call it that really, what it really is, is me remembering all the shit I was excited about that I meant to write about but didn’t because I HAVE TO PLAY MORE GOD DAMNIT!  Anyways, here we go.

Trapped in a Castle

As I may or may not have mentioned in my previous post, my base is being built in a castle.  The castle only has one entrance for those on foot or in ground vehicles which is blocked off by an indestructible cinder garage door that I built.  The only other way in is to land a helicopter on the tower in the middle, which just so happens to be occupied by, a broken to shit helicopter that isn’t going anywhere.  So really the only way to get in barring me fucking up and letting someone in the front, is if they have a helicopter and feel like taking a risk and trying to land in the yard of the castle.  This would mean not accidentally clipping a tree or castle wall, which would mean landing veerrry slowly which if I was there during, would give me plenty of time to react.  That said, this weekend I was shitting my pants in my castle.

I had just bought a new ATV at the nearest trader city and as I started riding it out of town a Humvee with a mounted turret decided to try and kill me.  I was certain I lost them before leaving the city, I looked behind me and zoomed in and didn’t see anything.  So I went home, locked up the garage, and as I finished storing my loot in my safe I hear the rumble of vehicle engines.  They fuckin found me!  My instincts kick in and I climb the stairs to my tower.  At the top of these stairs is a small hole in the wall I can peek out of and look at whoever is standing at my door.  The Humvee pulled right up to my door and I shot some at the driver side window.  That was when I noticed the turret start moving, I took one or two more shots and quickly side stepped behind the castle rock.  This is when I shit my pants.  The dude shot that thing and it was so loud and so close to me, it felt like my bullets had zero impact on them whereas I knew I would probably die from one shot of that turret.  I froze for a moment in fear, it all seemed futile.

So I decided to make a dash for it.  I had unfortunately allowed myself to be pinned down behind a small part of a rock wall on my stairs, I had to cross the gap again to get anywhere, so I just went for it and surprisingly made it.  I felt pretty helpless at this point, I was alone, they had two ground vehicles circling my castle now and a helicopter was flying high above, I assumed he was spotting me for them or something.  So, I just kinda sat in my tower and waited.  After about 15 minutes go by I stop hearing the vehicles around my walls and start to feel a little bit better.  I start making my way upstairs to the top of the tower to see if I can see anything.  Right before I pop my head out the turret fires again.  This is also where I shit my pants.  After wiping up I realized what was happening.  They moved their Humvee halfway up a mountain nearby and are shooting my friend’s helicopter (now you know why it is broken).  This is a common practice in DayZ, you can’t kill the person?  Shoot his fuckin stuff, cus fuck that guy, that’s why.

I went back downstairs to the middle of my tower and crouched by a window that could apparently see that part of the mountain.  The server was going to restart soon (reboots every 2 hours) and I waited until the last minute or two to peek out.  The Humvee was still on the mountain, but I couldn’t see anyone in or around it with my binoculars.  So I pulled my gun back out and shot that motherfuckers tires off.  Fuckers.  After the restart I took a little break to eat some food and when I came back on they had abandoned their vehicle and left.  No one was killed but I lost my friend’s helicopter and they lost their Humvee with mounted turret.  I chalk this one up as a win because I didn’t die inside my base.  But it did reveal to me that I still didn’t feel safe in my base, which is kind of the point of having a base imo.

That is it for today folks.  Below are the names of the upcoming stories I will write about (in chronological order, of course) and a brief description of them.  I had originally planned to write all of these today but I have this strange feeling they will all be as long as this one, which would make it the longest blog post in the history of blog posts, which is why I am instead just going to split them up and try and write one each day.  I will update the next stories’ titles each post if I encounter any to add.  Hope you enjoyed and come back for more.

Fear and Loathing in Chernarus (actually Taviana but it sounds better)

Bonedead realizes that he is afraid of people with guns, and that the thought of assaulting a castle entices people with guns.


In order to attempt to overcome his fears, our brave hero Bonedead decides he needs to instill some fear into others, instead of having it instilled in himself.

Fucking with your Neighbor

After taking fire from a neighbor while just passing by, Bonedead exacts his revenge, and he may have a problem.

Learning to Fly

The spoils of war entice Bonedead to take a chance, which may or may not have been a good idea.

Master Builder

Finally regaining his confidence, Bonedead begins planting his roots, with lots and lots of cinder blocks.