Learning Nothing: MMO Players and the Hype Machines of DEWWWWMMMMM!

Who remembers a game called Warhammer Online? If you can remember it, what do you remember about it? How about Age of Conan? Tabula Rasa? APB? Is it starting to make sense? I sure hope so, because guess what? I have a feeling there is another one on the way. Any guesses? Come on, you know you can see the hype train running amok all over the bitch. Guild Wars 2. Yeah, I said it.

How does the hype train hurt a game? Well, it is very easy to get caught up in your own hype, especially if you’re the conductor of the hype train. You put out a video talking about your game and use some vague words to describe not so vague systems and holy crap, you got so many more hits than your last video because now people are curious as to what that vague shit means. So, why not make another video, with some more vague shit? Man, look at those hits! We should totally show this to people who give us money and ask for more! The demand for this game is through the roof!

Yeah well, thats because you lied, jackass. So, the game gets closer to launch, you start to realize what you’ve been doing. Shit, you’ve got a problem haven’t you? With people expecting Open Beta soon, you know you’ve got to do something before everyone finds out that you’ve been lying, but what? You can be honest and say that vague system #3 isn’t quite ready yet, won’t be launching with the game, and that you are very sorry. No, can’t do that one because everyone really wants vague system #3. Well shit, what else is there? Oh damn, I’ve got it! It doesn’t need to work perfectly from the get go, we can just limit the level cap in the beta to the first 20 levels and polish up that section of vague system #3 so that people will get to see it and won’t doubt that it will be there, thus, they will still order the game! Perfect!

Now, sure, I could be jumping the gun here. I mean, GW2 has really only lied about one thing so far that I’m aware of, you know, the whole “you change the world and it stays that way forever” thing. Yeah, no game is ever going to pull that off and survive. So of course we now find out that the changes are instanced and only you and your npc henchman will ever know that you changed that rock over there a little bit. Cool.

I did see some dragon video today, it was on the Death & Taxes guild website (friend linked me), and I just wasn’t impressed. I mean, GW is a PvP game right? As Cartman would say: “What’s the big fuckin deal with all these dragons in my PvP game?” and I must agree with Cartman. I fought a dragon years ago in DAoC, do you really think it is going to be that different? Plus, and here is the big kicker imo, have you ever heard of this game called World of Warcraft? Yeah, they’ve got this new expansion coming out, you know the one, with the BIG FUCKING DRAGON THAT IS TOTALLY GOING TO BE THE FINAL BOSS? You’re going to take Blizzard head on with your end game PvE encounter? Really Mr. PvP MMO/CounterStrike game maker man? Yeah, I wouldn’t count on it.

Stop buying into the goddamn hype, have you learned nothing in the past people? I mean come on, every new MMO (which I wouldn’t classify GW or GW2 as) is coming out with some new twist or trick that for some reason they thought was a good idea to try out.

Hey guys, wanna play our cool game that you’ve loved since childhood on your computer? Oh, it kinda sucks huh? Well, thats because we want people to play it on consoles too. Yeah, sorry.

Hey you wanna play my game for free? Seriously, it doesn’t cost a thing!*

*Unless you want to level up, fight monsters, talk to players, trade anything, do anything, or play the game.

Hey we’re gonna make this new cool game that has so many things you want and…..
(company couldn’t afford to finish their statement because they’re already bankrupt)

Here is my bet, and I don’t make these bets very often. The GW1 players that enjoy the game and whose computers can run GW2 will move on to GW2. A lot of people who buy into the GW2 hype will purchase the initial box along with their current fanbase. Since they do not have a subscription model, they are pretty much the one game that can run a stupid crazy hype machine and gain from it (initial box sales, anyone?). The game will probably be a lot like GW1, just prettier, oh, and you can be the guys you used to kill now. Plus, we printed 20 more books of lore and T-Shirts and buy our stuff please! Ninja expansion! You can be a ninja now! Astronaut expansion, welcome to space bitch! Housewife expansion, you can now bake cookies and make sandwiches for the whole GW family, ingame and out!

Big ol meh face. (wtb meh emoticon)


6 thoughts on “Learning Nothing: MMO Players and the Hype Machines of DEWWWWMMMMM!

  1. tl;dr

    Ha ha just kiddin nice post chief. Im not really one to criticise gamers for falling for hype as Ive been guilty of it in the past with both AoC and champions online ha. I would say I can now see past the hype and assess a game without falling foul.

    With regards to GW 2 im pretty indifferent. I didnt like the first one and they have in my opinion made statements about the game which are undeliverable…… Ill wait and see I guess.

    Typed this on my phone so if it doesnt make sense tough…..

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