Derp Derp Derp

Not sure what I am writing here, I was thinking about talking Fallen Earth, but I didn’t play it yesterday. On a side note I downgraded to mid grade weed for a week and yesterday went back to the good stuff, effectively lowering my tolerance, and now the good stuff is good again.

Alright here is a good topic: Massively. What the fuck Massively, seriously? I have long wanted to go through your most recent posts sometime and just tear them apart for fun, which I’m not really going to do now, but jesus. I just checked that place and there is a 2 paragraph post that summarizes Scott Jennings’ recent post on PvP. HE SUMMARIZED A BLOG POST, ARE YOU KIDDING ME? YOU GET PAID FOR THAT? Shit, if you’re going to do that then why not just write posts like me where I play a game and then write about it for a little, usually not too on topic. There isn’t much difference in quality tbh. Seriously, what is that shit? Guess what the most recent post is right now. SURPRISE, ANOTHER BLOG POST SUMMARY!!!!!1111 Let’s scroll down a little and see what we have. (I know I said I wasn’t going to do this but now I’m angry)

Looks like DC Universe is adding Mr Freeze, whatever the shit that means. Anyone remember Arnold playing him in the movie? He seemed pretty big and bad ass right? Well the models I saw looked like utter puny dick, seriously, how is that supposed to be the same guy? He looks scrawny as shit and not very Arnold like. So let’s promote a game that looks like it sucks at creating their vision! BRILLIANT!!!111

Scrollin down a little more… Ahh, The Daily Grind. Wonder what this is all about. Oh what do you know, a question to the readers. Do you like grinding? Can you do it for long periods of time? Can you comment and create our content for us with this shitty topic that has probably NEVER been discussed? Thaaaaaaanks!

Let’s look into the Daily Grind history, starting with the first one. Seems legit enough, talking about themselves and what they’re planning on doing. Not sure what it has to do with the Daily Grind besides that it is a daily post, maybe it is the writer’s daily grind? The third post was WRUP or what are you playing, which I believe now is it’s own segment. Asking users their opinions about their favorite genre, class, what they would want in their MMO… Wow. So one of their first ones was about what genre/setting MMOs should be in more and then like 8 days later they ask the same damn thing. I wonder how many times they’ve asked the same daily question. Enough Daily Grind, it is basically a shit we have to put something here today, what question do we pose to our users? There are only so many questions about MMOs.

Alright little further down and we find something we’d expect to see on Massively, Metaplace is closing down. I guess the Mr. Freeze thing could be considered expected but come on, that doesn’t look anything like what it should and if you don’t know that then I don’t know if you should be talkin about it. Just sayin.

I didn’t want to do this but I’m going to.
Real Mr Freeze:
REAL
REAL

Mr Freeze Concept Art (aka their vision):
VISION

and finally, actual Mr. Freeze model:
LOL

As you can see, shitty shitty bang bang. I wouldn’t promote something that missed the mark that much. That’s not saying don’t promote the game, sure post their news, but a piece of fail like that is not news and you probably wouldn’t want potential fans seeing it.

Hey what do you know, a little further down, some worthy news on a game’s release time. Oh, hold on, looks like they’re just linking to some other website.

Next, LOL. More game news, linking to another site that actually got the interview/did the work.

Next, Making the most of a free trial. Hey maybe this will be something I can relate to. Okay… free trial is supposed to sell your game.. uh huh. Hmm, most people only play the free trial for one session and never again? Not me. But let’s keep going. Okay wtf, does this guy play MMOs? A free 12 hour trial? What stupid fucking game would ever limit a trial to 12 hours? Let’s google and see, hmmm, looks like NOT ONE. LOL, read on to figure out how to keep yourself engaged and in the game! Because that is your job, not the game designers’. Man this is just bad. Make sure you have time to play the game, make sure you want to play the game, if the game doesn’t seem like something you would normally play after a little ingame time then keep playing it, WOW. The trial character is just that. Holy jesus are you kidding me? Run into huge groups of mobs BECAUSE it is a trial character. Not because you want to find out how many mobs you can take at once with the class you chose to hlep you decide if you like that class, no, because its a trial character and that means that you can finally do this stuff now that it isnt a “real character”? Seriously.

Next, I want to make fun of this one because he really seems all over the road here, but he seemed to finally connect the dots there. Tired of the same old MMO crap? I’m going to make it seem that I have a cure for that. Here is how the developers could make it different. Here is another way. Fallen Earth is fun to those trying it because it is different. Next year I expect to play a lot more because of the new games. Again, not very awesome, kinda sucky, but he got the job done.

Next, CONTEST BITCHES! Can’t go wrong with that. KTR is better though even though they got 3 less giveaways.

Next, One Shots. This is probably the best commonly occurring thing they have going for them. It can always be different, if no user submits anything they can easily make it up, and no screenshot is too lame. I know this because I sent one in for lotro and saw it show up a few days/week later. MMO related.

Next, Ask Cryptic. A STO website feature that we treat as our own feature. Lawl. Content!

Okay okay, I’ve done enough with this topic. The next post was the Jennings blog summary, if you wanted to know.

So, what have we learned from all this? Well I’d like to propose a new logo for them.
Massively's New Logo

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