I care too much about my gaming life. I feel like I’m underachieving at playing games and having fun and entertaining all four of you. I need to relax, simple as that. You may be wondering wtf I am talking about, which makes sense. I beat myself up all the live long day. Over the smallest, stupidest shit, like playing games. I always feel guilty about not doing it good enough.
I was looking for a good quote on slowing down to use as the title for this post, but found nothing. I did however find these few which I think are great:
“The mark of a successful man is one that has spent an entire day on the bank of a river without feeling guilty about it.”
“Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.”
“Sometimes a headache is all in your head. Relax.” ~Hartman Jule
If you noticed, they are all along the same lines, relax. I picked these three because they inspire me to not do things that I usually do. Like not enjoy a day off because I’m thinking about what I should be doing at work. That’s the first one. For the second quote, I’ve always felt like someday I would just change, no control over it whatsoever, it would just happen and I’d be different, I’d finally be who I am. If I’m so worried about who I am and who I’m going to be, I’m not being me, I’m being someone who worries about who they are so much that it affects their everyday life. For the third quote, I just completely agree with it. So many times I’ve had problems that seemed so incredible but were actually nothing at all. I made them out to be the end of the world events, which I understand is normal, but what’s the point?
If no one knows what life is or why it is or what happens next, then why do I let these social “norms” poison who I am into someone that hates himself for trying to enjoy himself? Are we supposed to just accept that this is the way it is, that some people need to believe they know everything so they can make others feel bad? I think not. I think there are more than two paths, there has to be. I’ve always been the guy who didn’t always walk on the sidewalks and preset paths. There would be a sidewalk that goes around a whole field and everyone would walk around when I would walk right through. I honestly can’t remember seeing other people doing it
In math I would always find a shortcut to the answer, almost every time. I used to apply that term to many facets of my life, taking shortcuts. I’ve tried to apply it to the areas where it does not work, where shortcuts mean not doing everything, or half assing. That made me feel bad about taking shortcuts and I’ve kind of stopped trying to find them in my life. I don’t need to do that. I just need to differentiate between taking a shortcut and half assing. I know who I am. I am Jason, I am bonedead, and I can find the quickest route. Now all I’ve got to do is figure out where I want to go.