Miscellaneous… A.K.A. random motherfucker

I just checked out FreeRealms again. I’m still #1, well I would be if I paid $5.00 which I just might do. However, if I do, I’ll be creating many more characters so that I can be ranked #’s 1-5 or however many characters you get. Yeah and I’m gonna make all of their names incredibly similar. I see that the top ranked players have changed quite a bit, someone has over 21000 now, but they’re still 600 points below me. I really don’t think these kids are trying hard enough. I mean, I’m 22 and I smoke a lot of pot. How on earth could my reaction time and hand eye coordination be better than a bunch of kids? I can never get as good at CS as I used to be, so that rules out the whole, I’ve still got it theory.

I’m a dumbass IRL. I almost threw away my relationship because I’m a tool shed. Now I just do what I’m told and uhh, leave the cave. I really like my cave though, it is very comfy. I’ve made an appointment to see my rapist again after a few weeks or a month hiatus. I don’t think it is going to do much, but we’ll see. When it gets to the point that I feel like I’m just talking to another friend, that’s when I should stop paying for it imo. Before I stopped it was as if I was going to school but I didn’t do my homework. He’d ask me what I needed today and I’d be like shit man I don’t know. Can you make everything awesome? How about a bunch of money? I don’t fucking know what I need that’s why I came to see you. I can only stress out about my required tasks so much. Eventually I just keep going because I get out of work an hour early.

Does everyone have to get mad at the things they are tired of or want to distance themselves from? When I take breaks from weed, I have to hate the shit and everyone who is pro it. I feel like I have to get mad at my therapist so he stops trying to reschedule me every week. My brother and his friends will say that any MMO I am playing sucks pretty much because it isn’t WoW or EQ1. My brother doesn’t even know shit about MMOs, but he still does it. One of his friends is one of those big queers that played EQ1 for 5 years but acts like they played everything a lot. I played that game for 5 minutes, it fuckin sucked. Okay WoW boy, enjoy your 10 years til max level and then your 10 years of raiding. See, you have to hate shit. I’m pretty sure you only have to do it because everyone wants to be right or everyone thinks they’re right. Technically we all are, because we had to make the decision to switch from game A to game B for ourselves. Guess what you told yourself before you did it? That it was the right decision. So when we start talking about our preferences with one another, their decisions conflict with our decisions, and the next thing we know we’re trying to shove each others’ games down the others’ throat.

Am I getting too old for online games? I’m sure the really old people would laugh their ass off at that, but I am kind of serious. It seems like every game community I glance at is plagued with a bunch of retarded high school failures who think they’re owed the world from everyone else. Do not go to suggestion forums ever! It is the worst fucking place in all of the internet. 95% of the posts you find will be kids requesting changes so that they can do better. They don’t even realize they’re doing it. They think that everyone already knows that it needs to be done. But they are not aware that they’re being selfish little entitled fucks. Shit, they probably think they’re doing the community a great service, because they found the obvious unbalance in the games code. Been there, done that.

I’ve been imagining myself diving into a community. Actually communicating with strangers and not holding back or fitting in, just being myself and seeing how it goes. In my fantasies it all works out great, the guild or community molds itself around me and accepts me, but I’m pretty damn sure that wouldn’t be the case. Some of my best grouping experiences in MMOs was when I grouped up with some Euro players in DAoC. They needed a Skald, and I have a level 50 one. I got on their vent and everything. I couldn’t understand one fuckin word, but it didn’t matter, because we all knew what to do (well, I didn’t, but they did heh). I find myself in a similar situation on my current free server, Uthgard.

It is an “international” server which means a fuck ton of Euros not from the UK with sprinkles of english speaking peoples. Still, there are tons of entitled retarded fucks, they just have horrible broken english now. Which kind of makes it less irritating I guess, more comical, but I can still decipher the shit and figure out that they’re stupid fucking kids thinking they’re pulling a fast one and that they’ll finally be OPed and awesome. Except they don’t consider being OPed a bad thing, to them it just means they’re good. Been there, done that.

Happiness is when your actions line up with your morals.

How does one go about “turning over a new leaf”? I sometimes consider sitting down and making huge lists. These lists will be like checklists for my life. Get up before 7:20, shower, brush teeth, be out of the door by 7:50. I would need sooo many though. Dirty a dish? Clean it before doing anything else. Trash? Empty immediately. Laundry as soon as the hamper is full. Car tires feeling funny? Get them looked at. Need to sign up for school? Fucking do it! Have you taken Melanie out recently? Do it. Work would be pretty difficult. Are you blogging? Stop. Are you reading blogs? Fucking stop it! Do everything you have to do and ask for more you lazy motherfucker. Easier said than done(el cop out?).

I’ve discovered that the Uthgard server is really incomplete. They plan on having the SI zones in, but they’re not done. There is not one named Tomte outside of Nisse’s at the camps nearby. Whole spawns are missing. Tons of quests are missing. Loot. Everything. The battlegrounds seem like the biggest joke. Thidranki allows up to level 46. Yep, the 20-24 battleground is open to level 46s. There is also a whole army of give it to me now kiddies who just want to stay in the BGs all day long. What I believe is that the staff listened to their requests in the beginning, unaware that they would never want to leave. Now the staff is complaining that the players are complaining.

The one thing I wanted was the ability to go up to named guards after level 10, target them, and /s task. You used to get a task to go kill a blue mob in the surrounding area, you’re given a direction and everything, plus when you return you get an uber XP reward and a decent amount of coin. I’m pretty surprised that it isn’t in.

I believe one of the biggest problems is that the server is billed as a Classic server. I have a feeling the majority of the vocal players didn’t play the game in it’s first year or two. Even the ones that did are confusing features from years 3 through 6 (or however many years its been out) with features from the first couple years. Tireless is supposed to be an RA not a passive ability most classes get. Boats and griffins are not supposed to be in the game. Nor is spellcrafting and alchemy.

I just don’t know what to do anymore. Do I even enjoy playing these games? Isn’t it just the same damn thing painted a different way, maybe with a different shape every now and then? I find that I’ve had the most fun in online games when I am either playing with RL friends (which hasn’t happened very often since high school) or if I feel like I’m somehow getting the upper hand over people. I believe the upper hand feeling is usually attributed to me being OP. Sometimes it is because people are simply stupid or nervous in a fight, but those don’t feel as good. In Scoutzknivez it can feel really good though. However, it usually ends up ruining my own fun.

There are some players who are pretty damn good at Scoutzknivez. They join the server and see how many kills they can get before they die, sometimes they get in their 20s before it happens. What I like to do is lower their morale. Because it is such a real thing in games, it really is, I don’t have any proof but I guarantee you it exists. Many people care about their kill:death ratio in CS, but CS is a random game, you can be awesome but a newb across the map can spray and kill you. That is just the way it is, and I have accepted that, unlike the majority of the players striving to be good. You will see people retrying a lot, because it resets their score. Some will even join the opposite team after retrying just so they can have a good score even though they’re obviously stacking the team.

I don’t get how they can lie to themselves into thinking they’re better than they are, but I don’t get a lot of things. Anyways, I like to kill these people. I make it my mission, because it can be pretty hard. Especially when you’re almost always on the losing team, which means you’re out of the door faster, which means the whole enemy team aims at you before they see your teammates. It can get tough, but that’s how I like it. Usually when I kill them they have to say something, they have to, they can’t not say something. It’s funny because they’ll even be better than me at times yet they will always say something when I kill them. It’s basic psychology, they feel threatened, they’re defending their pride or whatnot, I get it. But I also think it is funny.

Another part of that is my score. I’m usually showing more deaths than kills, yet I’ll be the only person killing the best dude on the other team. They see my score and instantly say it was luck. Because how could someone with a score that bad kill them, amirite? Problem is (finaly the point) that they’re sore losers. They’ll quit, take their friends with them, and before I know it the server is empty save myself and a few newbs. So I kill my own fun.

Last week I was playing a lot more Scoutzknivez and the regular good people began to realize that I always do that (even though I’ve been playing there for 4-5 years and I’ve seen them all many times before). Then I began being a member of the stacked team. Why? Because they’d join my side. So I’d try switching sides when it became so obviously unfair, few rounds down the road and now the other team is quitting. Why? Because they switched to my effin team again. Some of them don’t do that, some of them do it because they don’t like me sneaking up on them and raping them, others because they like me. My favorite time is when the teams are fair, each having a few good guys, and if I still win. That’s the money.

Anyways, that’s about it for today. I’m considering a new blog for a new avenue of expression, but you know me, I do everything I plan on.

Bai2us

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